Archive | November, 2009

Easy Access

15 Nov

If there weren’t any
reservations
about who could
obtain reservations
then vacancy
wouldn’t be the issue.

Anyone could
physically be there
but sometimes
one can feel
lonelier
with others
than they
would by themselves.

Finding
someone isn’t
the issue,
its finding
someone
who deserves
the access,
smells
taste
and touch
of such a forgotten
and rare delicacy.

Easy access
isn’t altogether
easy.

Edward Austin Robertson

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Exit Velocity

4 Nov

So it is time to make a decision. No more hemming and hawing.

Just make a decision and be man enough to stand behind it.

Ok. Eugene it will be. Why Eugene, you ask?

Because that is the biggest challenge. Because it is the craziest of the options, because it makes no sense.

The same people who will be questioning this will be the same people who said ” Why the fuck Tulsa, Ok?”

It’s crazy but when haven’t I not done the crazy stuff huh?

Exactly. As crazy as it was to move down here on a whim, it was the best decision I could’ve made.

I’ve gotten to the point where I hardly question myself. I know myself well enough at this point to just follow through and plow ahead, knowing that whatever I decide is the best decision.

Regarding moving, I’ve been thinking about it too much, and not feeling it. My head has been saying, Dallas, Oakland, Portland, and Austin.

But my heart says Eugene. It felt the best of all the west coast cities I visited this fall.
Doesn’t necessarily make sense, considering the many connections I have in other cities, and the few connections (almost nil) I have in Eugene.

but I’ve got to do what’s best for my writing career.

The thought of going onstage and doing stand up frightens me more than I want to admit. Just time to step away for a while. Just one more first draft and I’ll be free to really kick it.

Edit Edit Edit. a reading here and there, Tai chi and guitar chords on a used Gibson acoustic.

Why not? Portland is still only a couple of hours away. Okay. Time to get it on then. Tie up the loose ends and develop and exit strategy. Save save save til Boxing Day, and then on with it.

If there is something scaring you, then maybe there is reason to embrace it and see why. Embrace yourself, keep testing yerself as Emilio Estevez says to Lou Diamond Phillips on “Young Guns’, right before the peyote trip.

Bravery isn’t lacking fear, its going on in spite of it.

Toy on Target

2 Nov

1.
Dropping
toys
instead of bombs
for the Festival of Children

that
said the market researchers
will doubtlessly make
an impression

It has made
a great
impression
on the whole world

2.
If the aeroplane
had dropped the toys
a fortnight ago
and only now the bombs

my two children
thanks to your kindess
would have had something to play
with for those two weeks

~Erich Fried~