Archive | February, 2014

Where Do The Years Go?

27 Feb

How does one make life slow down?

You live long enough
and certain present moments
parallel certain past moments.

So many people sleeping, partying, working their lives away.
In the blink of an eye
I went from being a 19 year old kid pulling my pud to Vanessa Del Rio videos
to becoming a 35 year old man
on the fringes of society;
wondering if my next piece of ass
will come in the form of anything but a 22 year old white chick.

My early 20’s seemed to lag in the mud
as I waited for something to happen to me.
Life was wide open then.
I had nothing but time to do whatever I wanted.

My mid twenties were spent preparing for something to happen to me.
The last 8 years of my life spent making something happen.

Life can appear to change so quickly.

~Edward Austin Robertson



25 Feb

Thanks for all the laughs, and for making the world a zanier and more tolerable place. Peace.

Not to be a buzzkill

19 Feb

Jumped the Gun

18 Feb

Ruined things with our impatience
before there was ever a chance to become friends.
In no hurry to meet hatred
from someone new.

~Edward Austin Robertson


17 Feb

Snow in the bong
Cool icy air hitting the lungs
softens the hit
mellows the mind
A skiing sensation
a freeing sensation.

~Edward Austin Robertson

How to BE a DJ in 2014

14 Feb

1) Buy a Mac laptop computer, (cross fader, drum sampler and Kaos pad optional)
2) Upload favorite songs on I-tunes
3) Sign up for a Spotify account and make a playlist
4) Create a cool DJ nickname like “Kid MetaPhistics” or DJ D. Funked
5) Set up a Facebook/twitter/myspace/bandcamp/soundcloud account
6) Get gigs at local house parties in hopes up gaining a reputation
7) Set up gear at said gig and say “How ya’ll doing out there [Insert name of city/town/venue into]?”
8) Click on first track to start the night
9) Nod head to the beat like you are digging the track’s drums
10) Place headphones on head but with only one ear covered
11) Prepare to segue into next track
12) Say “Aw yeaaaaa [Insert name of city/town/venue into]. Ya’ll feeling this?”
13) Gauge crowd reaction then say “I know ya’ll gonna like this one haha!”
14) Cue next track then lick finger and point in the air to dry
15) Take finger and press play on the next track
16) Spin away from booth and dance behind the booth–the cornier the dance the better
17) Repeat steps 12-16 every 3-4 minutes.
18) Grab camera phone and take photo of the audience dancing to music that other people made.
19) Upload photo onto twitter/Instagram/Facebook account and show everyone on the web the hype party they are missing.
20) Ask [Insert name of city/town/venue into] how they are doing?
21) Awkwardly shoehorn in favorite song that almost ruins the mood.
22) Compensate for mistake by playing a crowd-friendly tune that will get the party hype
23) Give shout outs to venue/booking/and accompanying acts
24) Check twitter/Instagram/Facebook for responses. Type out response but erase them because it will make people question why you are responding on your I-phone in the middle of a “hype” DJ set.
25) Tell the crowd you love them and yell “peace” before going into last track.
26) Thank audience and take a sip of bottled water. Then throw up hands to the beat of music.
27) Unload gear and place gear into a safe place–preferably tour van or car.
28) Check twitter/Instagram/Facebook for more responses then give a shout to city/town/venue you just played
29) Respond to any messages, shout outs you received on the web
30) Hang out backstage or at the bar. Scope out potential groupies. Act like the spot you are at is the hottest spot in town right now.
31) Figure out after show plans. Narrow them down to after-party with the other performing acts, taking a groupie home, hooking up with a cutie from around the way, hanging out with significant other, or going home alone to plan next show (and/or masturbate).
32) Execute final evening plans and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Nod to any compliment sent your way (should you choose groupie or after-party.
33) Repeat steps 7-32 at next show.


Worth Checking Out

13 Feb

I wanna work for Vice.

Geeking out on Patti Smith’s “Easter”

6 Feb

Easter Sunday, we were walking.
Easter Sunday, we were talking.
Isabel, my little one, take my hand. time has come.

Isabella, all is glowing.
Isabella, all is knowing.
And my heart, Isabella.
And my head, Isabella.

Frederick and Vitalie, savior dwells inside of thee.
Oh, the path leads to the sun. brother, sister, time has come.

Isabella, all is glowing.
Isabella, all is knowing.
Isabella, we are dying.
Isabella, we are rising.

I am the spring, the holy ground,
The endless seed of mystery,
The thorn, the veil, the face of grace,
The brazen image, the thief of sleep,
The ambassador of dreams, the prince of peace.
I am the sword, the wound, the stain.
Scorned transfigured child of Cain.
I rend, I end, I return.
Again I am the salt, the bitter laugh.
I am the gas in a womb of light, the evening star,
The ball of sight that leads that sheds the tears of Christ
Dying and drying as I rise tonight.

Isabella, we are rising.
Isabella, we are rising . . .

~Patti Smith~

The Pick 2 Click

6 Feb

This song has been rubbing me the right way for the last few days

Snow Day

5 Feb

Everyone was beautiful because everyone felt happy.
“Happy Snow Day” was his greeting to all trudging by–
the college kids screaming, squealing and howling their “woo hoo’s!”
drunk, or on their way to getting there.
He wasn’t a fan of the cold
but the winters in Kansas gave him a sense of time and place;
creating evocative images to vividly recall years later.
The safety net of the quiet neighborhood
draped in unmolested snowfall,
walking down the empty street while a man shoveled his driveway.
A decision to step out of that comfortable chaos
into the unknown
reminded him that happiness was a decision.
It was as if God had deemed that today
would be a perfect day
and he wouldn’t have to try one bit to make it work.

~Edward Austin Robertson
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