Archive | September, 2012


19 Sep

The end is near folks, I’m sure you’re hearing it everyday.

“Zombie apocalypse”

Dude eats man’s face off!! (We’ve all seen the gruesome photos. No need to put that shit on here.)

You know they never found any bath salts in his system right? Just bud and some pills…mufucka had a real bad case of the munchies.

He probably smoked weed until he had hallucinations (like on Looney Tunes when they stuck out on an island) Maybe the old man started looking like a steak platter maybe the other dude started salivating and then………… By the way how cruel is to give a homeless person a joint instead of money or food? They are just going to be that much hungrier (or thirsty) after smoking that joint.

That’s probably what happened to the bath salt dude……dude was hungry…shit I’d eat a human if I had to……not a homeless dude….you don’t know where the fuck they’ve been……no telling how many toxins in that meat…..nah I want some free range organically fed human……people think I go to whole Foods because I eat healthy…no sir….. I’m scouting…….like a wolf on the prowl…..peeping out people’s shopping carts…seeing how healthy they eat……(who wants some fat sloggy assed, no exercising, chain smoking meat…imagine how’d that taste?)when I’m on airplanes before taking off, I’m checking out the most fit people on board, just in case there’s a plane crash.

You don’t want them too lean. You want someone who has a little bit of fat on them (because you know, that’s where the flavor is).

Jonathan swift was onto something man……babies…..that’s right……if a baby can’t be adopted…eat it….feed it to the homeless……boom two problems solved right there, feeding the homeless and overpopulation….

According to some news sources we have to be prepared for the oncoming changes:

Start storing food and seeds, storing water, stock up on water filters, and radiation pills, avoid major cities

What the fuck we coming to? If ten years from now living means staying in some bamboo shack with a shotgun and eating Chia seeds then just go ahead and give me the cyanide treatment now. I’d rather just go out like Hemingway.

you can’t outrun evolution. It just might be our time. Maybe the next step is the zombie?
Flesh-eaters… kind makes sense, nature’s way of dealing with overpopulation (Feed the homeless to the homeless). We’re halfway there anyway, education isn’t something that we value in this country, we watch silly ass unintelligent shit on TV during our free time, music is being dumbed down as we speak

“shots, shots, shot, shots”

one syllabic lyrics. We at that point now. We’re becoming zombies.

The only difference is that in the future there’d be tv shows made exclusively for zombies….about zombies.

Watch Z-TV for the next episode of “Grey’s matter”

There’d be zombie hip hop bands…. “Yea! yea! Thank you we hip hip o thalmus and this is our new song “ She gave more brain than Einstein!!!!”

Of course then there won’t be anything left to eat and the zombies will be dead……so I guess that would leave……..cockroaches????

Maybe they’d then grow to be human like and they’d sitting in their homes watching TV’s and listening to radios arguing about creation vs. the big bang vs. evolution……smoking some form of cannibis and wondering if humans really existed.

What if all this is just the next step in evolution? Anything is possible.



12 Sep

I stood in front of the Food Mart
watching for when the rain
would dissipate
or at least diminish to a walkable mist
feeling that I missed her
(and the boy)
but knowing it was too late to turn around
give it (yet) another shot
to be the stellar boyfriend she wanted
(and the exemplary father figure he needed).

I bristled at the thought.
Doing so would’ve wasted all efforts
I’d made to attain the autonomy I’d
longed for as a child.
The end of me as I knew it.

Did me no good
to look back
on that undercurrent of misery.
on balance
that period was an extremely educational one.
Growing out of that naivete
All those mistakes
but very little regret.


Time to reset.
Move forward
into this new chapter
and start all over (again)
leave all those hindrances behind
any barrier between me and success
and positivity
find the correct balance between hedonistic capriciousness
and responsibility for my actions

but essentially none of it really mattered
the lesson I’d forgotten along the way,
during the times I’d lost my sense of humor
and humility
I’d taken things too seriously
at this point
the only thing that mattered was what kind of person
I wanted to be while I was still here.


Back Where it all started
the cavalier attitude that I’d developed
all the awkward and embarrassment that
came as a result of that hedonistic attitude
My dyonysian utopia
learning the hard way
of how (not) to become socialized.
So what now?
Continue to follow my dreams
while they were still within grasp
or gear up for the inevitable end,
this impending nightmare
we were creating?

And if this were all just a dream anyway
shouldn’t I
grab, grab, grab
as much as I could before it was snatched away?

A new five year plan
was needed before I could proceed any further
shock was slowly wearing off
the empty space before me thrilled me
pulling me back out into the rain
washing away any lingering doubts or regret.
My clothes were drenched but my head remained high.

~Edward Austin Robertson~

Are you ready for some football?

1 Sep

I know I am.