Archive | August, 2009

New short story

26 Aug

Just got a new short story published on

Great Article

24 Aug



by the man who who produced James, Devo, anything worth listening to by U2, the Talking Heads’ best albums, and collaborated on David Bowie’s best work of the 70’s.


Why We Fight

24 Aug

No teabagging, please. I beg you.

No teabagging, please. I beg you.

Its no accident that missles and rockets take on such phallic appearances. I think its a display of man’s unconscious sexual desire and quest for power.

In the days of the primate, the female chose her mate according to which male was distinctly head and shoulders above its competition.

The female was looking for a mate who could provide good genes for strong healthy offspring, in addition to being able to protect the female and their offspring from oncoming predators, and other forms of danger.

The female wanted to be certain it will live a relatively safe and healthy life with her mate, and required of the male the ability to provide food for her and their offspring.

In our modern days, evolution has proved to change the elements, but not the prevailing theme. Cars, clothing, and houses, give men the opportunity to “peacock”, or display their status in the social order, according to how much money they make.

In the United States, wealth appears to be the number one display of one’s tools for survival. Everything is for sale, and all the conveniences of life are available to you if you make enough money. The quality of life is distinctly better for people with money than those without (obviously).

All things being equal, a pragmatic woman will choose a mate who is most capable of establishing a comfortable life, one that is safe from the harsh realities of modern day poverty.

Fancy cars, nice clothes, jewelery, and expensive tasting food and drink becomes bait for a man “hunting” for himself a woman.
Their offspring go off to the best schools money can afford, thus furthering their chances of making money and being the most fit–strengthening their position in society.

I think this is why we fight. We have a high standard of living that must be maintained. We fight for land and resources within our own species’ “struggle for existence”. Our crisis has come with the planet’s overpopulation.

Those who are unfortunate enough to live somewhere rich in resources but possess an inferior military, get the brunt end of man’s quest for economic power.

So continues the sexual dominance. Women continue to flock subconsicously (and consciously) towards those with power. The men with the big missles (err penises) keep their status intact, thus insuring that they’ll get pussy for the rest of their wealthy lives.

Bmick ’09

Struggle For Existence

24 Aug

This could be us very very soon

This could be us very very soon

In Looking at nature, it is most necessary to keep the foregoing considerations always in mind–every single organic being around us may be said to be striving to the upmost to increase in numbers; each lives by a struggle at some period of its life;heavy destruction falls either on the young or the old, a struggle for existence inevitably follows from the high rate at which oraganic beings tend to increase.

As more individuals are produced than can possibly survive, there must be in every case, a struggle for existence, either one individual with another of the same species, or with individuals of distinct species, or with the physical conditions of life.

All we can keep in mind is that each being (organic) is striving to in increase at a geometrical ratio;that during each generation or at intervals, has to struggle for life; and to suffer great destruction.

When we reflect on this struggle, we may console ourselves with the full belief, that the war of nature is not incessant, that no fear is felt, that death is generally prompt and that the vigorous, the healthy and the happy survive and multiply.

~Charles Darwin~
From “Origin of the Species.”


21 Aug

I took note of the Full Moon and decided to indulge in whatever craziness would come with the night.

Ended up at a party where there was the threat of a bathroom threesome (alas nothing materialized)

and ended up on the patio making out with a gal who I wouldn’t bed down until a couple of years later.

Drunk, high and definitely horny I escorted the five young co-eds to their ride of the evening, a Dodge Neon.

One of them H___ says as I’m opening the door, “C’mon Bobby. Don’t you think it’s time you showed us the elephant?”

Embarrassed because I’d heard the rumors around the dorm and didn’t want to disappoint, I politely declined.

“C’mon Bobby.” D__ said. “We’ve all heard about it just give us a little peek.”

It took me back to the time when I saw my first vagina up close, when my friend Mike and I paid a girl to let us a burn her pubic hairs with a logn match stick.

Sheepishly I grinned and began to pull it out, hoping that my freckles wouldn’t be visible in the glare of the parking lot lights.

The next minute and thirty seconds were spent in a surreal silence.
The air was sucked out into this vacuum. K___’s eyes grew wide as saucers and H__, the front passenger mouthed the words “Oh my God.”

It was like being in a Mitchell brothers erotic film with five different shades of hands were pawing away at my now elongated penis.

It was everything I could do not to giggle out loud and break the magic spell.

Finally I pulled it away and the girls put their seat belts on. “Come back with us Bobby.”

I started to climb in the backseat when I noticed the glass bong lying in the backseat floor, right next to a half empty bottle of Boone’s Farm and a few empty beer cans. The car reeked of weed.

I thought of what it’d look like riding in a car with a bunch of under aged girls and getting busted on the way back.

“I’d better not. i think I’m gonna stay and party some more.”

I zipped up my pants.

“Later Bobby.” One called out. “Suit Yourself.” Said S___.

Still a bit stunned, I watched them close the doors and drive out of the parking lot.
I heard the screeching of tires as they turned the corner, peeling off back towards the dorms. I was immediately sorry that I didn’t follow.

I walked back into the party and found my buddy Roach. He had a 40 oz in his hand and his cap was turned backwards.

“Roach.” I said.

“Roach, I think I just fucked up big time.”

He looked at me bleary eyed. “Oh yeah.” He yelled.

The music was a bit too loud.

“Yeah. I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life.”

About five years later, a friend confronted me about this, telling me she had heard a rumour that a group of three girls had asked to see my package and I’d obliged.

I laughed in embarrassment for a second or two. Her eyes got big. “So it is true?” She asked.

“Well actually it was five girls. But hey, who’s counting?”

Eve of Departure XVII (Spilled Milk)

14 Aug

If it's going to be that type of party I'm sticking my dick in the mashed potatoes.

If it's going to be that type of party I'm sticking my dick in the mashed potatoes.

I leave tomorrow to go back home to Dallas, Texas for the weekend.

I’m excited. I love Texas even more now that I don’t live there. Its a weird thing. I never really got any state pride until I left. Its a great place to be from.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about getting the state tattoed on my body somewhere……maybe my right pectoral or something, with a little blue star where Dallas is……

Anyway, I’ll be there just enough to soak it up and leave right before I get sick of it. Dallas sucks. As far as cities go… favorites are
Portland, San Francisco bay, NYC, Austin, Eugene, and Toronto.

I’d prefer Denton to Dallas anyday but I guess there’d be no Denton withotu Dallas would there???

As a city it just isn’t sustainable. Public transit should be way better for the amount of people who live in the metroplex. And the education system has never recovered from when the DAllas Independent School System shut down for a bit, rather than integrate during the sixties.

But I still love it. Its home. Its where my family is. Anyway I’m going back so my family can finally throw the party they’ve been waiting for the past 12 years to throw, my graduation party.

When I finished high school in 1997, I had no idea my life would take the crazy turns it did. Hell the last five years of my life has been a crazy ride in itself, but that’s for another time isn’t it?

I’m loooking forward to seeing the folks, hanging out, seeing a couple of old friends, and maybe even watching a little cable. If I’m lucky, I’ll have time to drink some whiskey with some old school fools ya know?

I feel good. Best I’ve felt in a couple of weeks. I’ve been mildly depressed dealing with the Toronto saga. But i’m okay now. A little drink and a lotta country music does wonders for the spirit.

When you go that deeply with someone and have nothing to show for it, it sucks. Something I always try to avoid when entering into any relationship, but you can only control what you do.

When friends turn out to not be friends, its a special kind of hurt and takes time to digest. Hard not to turn to cyniscm and distrust. My defense mechanism is humor of course, and so I tried to turn this negative into a positive; attempting a humorous spin on these events.

I hope I succeeded. I didn’t want it to be a whiny rant, but I also wanted to honest about the situation. Everyone has gotta paly the fool sometimes. At least that’s what I heard.

Also I only wanted to talk about it in detail once, and not mention it again. So when people ask what happened with that I can just direct them to the blog post.

The female in question read it and wasn’t pleased and she wants me to take the post down……..I’m kind of torn….although the situation is fucked up, the post itself is something I’m proud of……..

I have the weekend to think it over, and hopefully there won’t be a lawsuit waiting for me when I get back to Tulsa.

I feel good though, just laughed my ass of watching Tropic Thunder, feeling good and confident about my future. I’ve got good family, good friends, I’m handsome, smart, and funny. So it certainly won’t be a problem getting what I want out of life will it?

Eventually I’ll meet other women (although I’m seriously considering being celibate for the rest of the year) and if I don’t meet any soon, that’s fine too.

I’ve got lots of books, music to listen to, and whiskey to drink. Perhaps a woman would just ruin it.


12 Aug

My kids at work play this playstation game that I’m totally not down with.

I myself never got into RPG games, but I’ve spent countless hours playing football, baseball, and basketball games for all types of video game systems.

I need it. The competition keeps my edge sharp. My adrenalin flowing.

But these RPG games just don’t do it for me. I had a roommate in Austin who would spend his days off from work playing the fuck out of Grand Theft Auto. I never could understand it.

There’s this one my kids play called Bully. Basically this little punk goes around his private school beating up kids way bigger than him, pissing off the administrators and slapping the young girls.

If he happens to get caught by the campus police, it says is busted and then you start back at the beginning.

I’m not one of those guys who say that television, media, and video games and music are responsible for kids fucking up.
But this game is disturbing to me. The kids laugh at the violent parts of the game, slap folks around and do fucked up things and think its okay.

I think it’d be a better game, and more educational if perhaps instead of it simply saying busted once the player gets nabbed, it goes through a random series of scenarios:

1)getting kicked out of school and sent home to where the old man goes apeshit, kicks the kid out of the house and finally you see the kid sucking dick for a gram of coke to freebase in some alleyway.

2) getting sent to a juvenile correction facility where they are forced to be someone’s bitch until they are old enough to go to real prison and reenact disturbing scenes from HBO’s “OZ”.

3) Getting the choice of getting expelled or doing special favors for an interested teacher who feels like they have a vested interest in the kid because they had a son like the troubled kid and scenarios# 1, or 2 happened to their kid and they never forgave themselves. So this is their own way of making amends. Then they finallly share a special moment after weeks of not getting along and the kid turns his life around and becomes an upstanding citizen.

This would be more realistic and fun I think. Someone should look into this. I have friends who are video game programmers, why haven’t they made a game like this yet?

I’ve gotta go. I’ve got phone calls to make.

Like a Hurricane

10 Aug
I get it Neil. I finally get it.

I get it Neil. I finally get it.

As much as I’ve always loved this song. It’s only been recently that I really felt like I could truly understand what he was saying:

“Like A Hurricane”

Once I thought I saw you
in a crowded hazy bar,
Dancing on the light
from star to star.
Far across the moonbeam
I know that’s who you are,
I saw your brown eyes
turning once to fire.

You are like a hurricane
There’s calm in your eye.
And I’m gettin’ blown away
To somewhere safer
where the feeling stays.
I want to love you but
I’m getting blown away.

I am just a dreamer,
but you are just a dream,
You could have been
anyone to me.
Before that moment
you touched my lips
That perfect feeling
when time just slips
Away between us
on our foggy trip.

You are like a hurricane
There’s calm in your eye.
And I’m gettin’ blown away
To somewhere safer
where the feeling stays.
I want to love you but
I’m getting blown away.

You are just a dreamer,
and I am just a dream.
You could have been
anyone to me.
Before that moment
you touched my lips
That perfect feeling
when time just slips
Away between us
on our foggy trip.

You are like a hurricane
There’s calm in your eye.
And I’m gettin’ blown away
To somewhere safer
where the feeling stays.
I want to love you but
I’m getting blown away.

~Neil Young~

City Girl

10 Aug

You Narcissistic bitch.

You can’t just play
games with people
like this.

Don’t you
understand that
words are things
you can’t take back?

I think you’re a liar
and a hypocrite
and one of the
most dangerous
types of people
out there.

Self righteous
and self important.

I’d rather
hang out with
the rankest
in Ontario
be friends
someone like you.

At least
the whore is upfront
about who she is.

As crazy as my
last girlfriend
was. She was at least
and loyal.

But lesson

I’ll certainly be
more careful
as to
who I offer
my heart
the next time.

Thank you
for everything.

I wish
I could take
back all the
lovely things
I said and thought
about you.

All the time
and energy
cultivating this

In reality
they are still
just like everything
in this poem.

I’d be a liar
if I didn’t acknowledge
it all evenly.


~Edward Austin Robertson~