Elephant

21 Aug

I took note of the Full Moon and decided to indulge in whatever craziness would come with the night.

Ended up at a party where there was the threat of a bathroom threesome (alas nothing materialized)

and ended up on the patio making out with a gal who I wouldn’t bed down until a couple of years later.

Drunk, high and definitely horny I escorted the five young co-eds to their ride of the evening, a Dodge Neon.

One of them H___ says as I’m opening the door, “C’mon Bobby. Don’t you think it’s time you showed us the elephant?”

Embarrassed because I’d heard the rumors around the dorm and didn’t want to disappoint, I politely declined.

“C’mon Bobby.” D__ said. “We’ve all heard about it just give us a little peek.”

It took me back to the time when I saw my first vagina up close, when my friend Mike and I paid a girl to let us a burn her pubic hairs with a logn match stick.

Sheepishly I grinned and began to pull it out, hoping that my freckles wouldn’t be visible in the glare of the parking lot lights.

The next minute and thirty seconds were spent in a surreal silence.
The air was sucked out into this vacuum. K___’s eyes grew wide as saucers and H__, the front passenger mouthed the words “Oh my God.”

It was like being in a Mitchell brothers erotic film with five different shades of hands were pawing away at my now elongated penis.

It was everything I could do not to giggle out loud and break the magic spell.

Finally I pulled it away and the girls put their seat belts on. “Come back with us Bobby.”

I started to climb in the backseat when I noticed the glass bong lying in the backseat floor, right next to a half empty bottle of Boone’s Farm and a few empty beer cans. The car reeked of weed.

I thought of what it’d look like riding in a car with a bunch of under aged girls and getting busted on the way back.

“I’d better not. i think I’m gonna stay and party some more.”

I zipped up my pants.

“Later Bobby.” One called out. “Suit Yourself.” Said S___.

Still a bit stunned, I watched them close the doors and drive out of the parking lot.
I heard the screeching of tires as they turned the corner, peeling off back towards the dorms. I was immediately sorry that I didn’t follow.

I walked back into the party and found my buddy Roach. He had a 40 oz in his hand and his cap was turned backwards.

“Roach.” I said.

“Roach, I think I just fucked up big time.”

He looked at me bleary eyed. “Oh yeah.” He yelled.

The music was a bit too loud.

“Yeah. I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life.”

About five years later, a friend confronted me about this, telling me she had heard a rumour that a group of three girls had asked to see my package and I’d obliged.

I laughed in embarrassment for a second or two. Her eyes got big. “So it is true?” She asked.

“Well actually it was five girls. But hey, who’s counting?”

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