Archive | August, 2019

In Hindsight

10 Aug

The mature mindset would’ve been to enjoy the moment for what it was

and then let go of it forever.

Maybe we’d have stayed in touch, maybe we wouldn’t have.

The hormones were running high

and it’d been a while since I’d met someone who felt so lovely to be around.

As soon as I left her, however; some suppressed feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness

surfaced.

Things got messy at the first sign of turbulence.

But it was never about her.

 

Had we met today, I’m not sure there’d even be any sparks,

any mutual interest, or even things to converse about.

It was my first true femme fatale–

a woman whose thoughts impressed me as much as her body

(and boy what a nice body)—with a mind that was as manipulative as my own.

When it ended the way things did,  I was twice as angry with myself

as I was hurt by what she revealed herself to truly be.

So it was never about her.

 

 

I was a reckless man, thoughtless and cavalier,

and I got exactly what I deserved.

My animus–the best and worst of me—

reflected in a mirror.

Had I possessed any self awareness back then,

I could’ve recognized those patterns sooner—

the way I was treated in relation to the way I treated others;

beforehand and afterwards–

and realized much earlier, that it was never about her.

 

Edward Austin Robertson

 

 

 

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Vancouver, B.C. circa 2019 (For Tiago)

4 Aug

Honeymoon, honey baby, honey baby moon,

familiar coastlines, new story lines

relive old days through new eyes.

 

Drifting for decades,

coast to coast,

cement to sand to soil.

 

One month a newlywed,

many times broken

to become whole again.

 

Daylight lasts long into nightfall.

Crows as big as chickens.

Air cleaner and clearer

than memory originally served him.

The return of a calm long forgotten.

 

~Edward Austin Robertson

 

Greatest Football Player in the past 20 years

4 Aug