Newer Poems

23 Aug

Ambitious

Staring out the bus window
at various rock sediments
and
enormous pastures of white
knowing
I shouldn’t question myself.

Something great
on the horizon
but I also
knew I’d
left behind
a good woman

though I wasn’t
sure if five-six
months of good sex
would be worth
what I’d
miss out on.

Perhaps it’d be better
to get this
“White Line Fever”
out of my system

before I was
going to attempt
to do any
settling down.

We’d have probably
been okay
but the thought
of being an
emotional
babysitter
to yet
another
woman
didn’t
sound
all that
appealling

especially if
the juice wasn’t
worth the squeeze.

Be hard
to justify
staring off
into space
while she
chirped away
about the
things
rattling
around in her brain.

We both deserved
better than
that.

Besides I’d
taken that
route before
dragging two
people
through the mud
in the process.

My conscience
had barely
recovered from that trip.

This was the right
decision
and I knew so
because it
hurt the most.

But when
would enough
be enough?

When could things
just be alright
for me?

Always
onto
the next city
the next project
the next woman.

Who the fuck
did I think
I was?

Shel Silverstein?
Even he died alone.

Ambition
is a real
motherfucker.

~Edward Austin Robertson~

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