Lying together naked
it seemed as if I could not get close enough to her
intoxicated by her smell and
the touch of her skin
against mine.
It was reminiscent of what a former lover
had said before we’d embarked on our own sexual
misadventures;
how sex (and “I love you’s”)
was a package that couldn’t be taken back
once opened.
I’d definitely been here before
remembered what this felt like
things were certainly going in a certain direction.
I knew where this path went
and knew what was waiting behind door number one.
It’d be much easier to manage myself this time around
I wouldn’t get overwhelmed so easily
I was sure.
Knowing that I was presently staring at a potential all time great
I was in no hurry for anything
being patient and present were my only focus.
I wanted to enjoy this first leg of the journey as long as it lasted.
So many times I’d looked back longingly for those early stages
of previous romances when there was a great deal of levity
before those heavier moments set in,
bringing forth sadness and tears.
Those passionate occasions of intermediate liplocking
and genital carress
a series of touches
in the early moments of peeling that
psychedelic onion.
But this time I could feel opening of possibilities
could sense that everything would be okay
that this ending didn’t have to be tragic.
This was a game changer.
Regardless of the outcome,
even if the things we’d imagine
didn’t come to fruition
it was already worth the trip.
She was getting the best version of me yet.
Looking into her face
and those swimming pool eyes
I knew
that I never wanted to know what it felt like
to disappoint her
to hurt her with angry careless words
that could never be taken back.
I could avoid all those mistakes
if I wanted to.
With every kiss I was saying goodbye
to all those ghosts, demons, and haunts
and saying hello to healthy attachments
and pleasant memories.
I deserved someone good.
I deserved something sweet.
And this time
I finally knew it.
~Edward Austin Robertson~
Nuclear Polio Vaccination 
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