I became aware of the psychic shift
when I realized that it was she
who’d requested that the DJ
play “Poison” on the dance floor
(Never trust a big butt and a smile).
My fate was sealed when that big sexy ass
started grinding into my crotch.
If you have ever been in place
where you were so overwhelmingly attracted
to a person you found so spiritually repulsive
then you know what it means to
“Lose your Religion” for someone.
No state of denial is more powerful
than trying to convince yourself that the person
you lust for is “ a good person deep down inside.”
They have to be because how shallow
would that make me to pursue these depths
just for a little bit of evil goodness?
There has to be some justification,
a way to rationalize
how you manage to cross that line without even knowing
that you compromised your integrity.
I was done for.
I knew it.
She knew it too.
I was her sucker
and I was going to do whatever it took
to continue to put my penis inside her
and there was absolutely no way
I was going to be the one to break things off.
She was going to be the ruin of me
and there was nothing I could do about it.
Any mild advantage I
thought I possessed
I’d relinquished
once I started giving a fuck about her.
I was in love with this filthy whore
and she was about to drag me
down–
even further than I already was.
~Edward Austin Robertson
Nuclear Polio Vaccination 
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