East Coast Trippin’ Day 14: Droppin’ the ball

7 Jun

2014-06-06 16.01.11

If you don’t like waiting in long ass lines, large crowds of people, and overpriced food, then a music festival is not the place for you. I enjoy none of these things and somehow I forgot that when I bought my Friday ticket for the Governor’s Ball. I would have preferred to have seen Outkast in a smaller, more controlled venue, but that was not an option. They were only playing festivals and if I wanted to see them I would have to get over myself and get out into the world.

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It took me a while to get out there. I had to schlep all my stuff across town to Brooklyn where I am staying for the weekend before I could leave for the waterfront. I got the “midwest okeydoke” pulled on me because I thought a ferry was the only way to get Randall’s Island. I could have saved myself 20 bucks and walked across the passenger into the harbor. I waited in line for an hour and half and missed the entire Washed Out set. Damon Albarn’s whole set was scheduled for the entire performance of Outkast, so that was another act I was destined to miss.

I was able to find my friends at the main stage and catch enough of Phoenix to feel satisfied (after about 6 songs it all started to sound the same, but goddamn they had a bad ass drummer) and decided to get some more free Ben & Jerry’s ice cream:

Ferry ticket to Randall’s Island- 20 bucks

One day pass for Governor’s Ball-115 bucks

Lying in the fairgrounds and eating free cups of Phish Food while checking out the ladies in their festival garb- PRICELESS.

There were so many beautiful women there. I haven’t seen that much tail since my daddy took me to the Fort Worth Zoo. The offset to this little dalliance was that I lost my place at the stage, lost my friends and my cell phone died (which didn’t matter–no one could get decent coverage out there). I was left to meander about and catch a small glimpse of TV On the Radio, a band I feel like I’m supposed to like, but for whatever reason can’t get into them.

There was free water there but only if you had a receptacle, so to save money I found an empty plastic water bottle, washed it out as best as I could and used that (who says I don’t have survivor skills?). I was getting pretty hungry but I didn’t want to incur an 8 dollar ATM fee just to get a 7 dollar grilled cheese sandwich. Later I saw a guy eating one and asked him if it was worth it. He shrugged and told me I could have the rest of his–he’d only taken two bites of that motherfucker. Did I eat it? Of course I did. I had to find out if a 7 dollar grilled cheese sandwich tastes better than a free grilled cheese sandwich. The truth is I couldn’t tell the difference.

I was beginning to regret not selling my ticket to a guy outside the festival grounds when Outkast came onto the stage and blew it up! Shit was krunk. I wasn’t sure if they had the juice to pull off something so big, but it was authentic, it was funky, and they were having fun.

I was hungry, grouchy, and kind of tired from the night before, but Outkast made me forget all of that and the 100 dollars I spent on my ticket just to essentially see them. Once the music started playing, it was impossible to not enjoy myself. Having very little money to piss off left me pretty sober. The edibles I was traveling were starting to go bad back in Carolina, so I had to eat those before I really wanted to. Sure enough during “Spottieodiedopealicious”, the guy next to me in a Jason Gardner Arizona jersey, passed me a huge bomber he’d been puffing on. Since weed is legal here in the New York, I took him up on his hospitality–oh wait it isn’t? You mean I broke New York state law? Well I guess me and Raymond Felton will be bunk mates in prison won’t we?

Within three hits I was taken back to 1998, where I was hanging out with pizza delivery drivers and getting stoned on the regular while listening to “Aquemini” in our cars. I was one of the few old heads who knew all the songs from the first 3 albums, and I couldn’t help but smile I looked around saw someone else dancing, and singing along to “Elevators.”


Some people got loose, others only when they played the hits that they knew from “Speakerboxx/The Love Below.”
I laughed at the irony of some of the younger, prettier girls singing “Roses” not understanding that they were singing about women like themselves.

I liked that they paid homage to some of the NYC Hip Hop pioneers and reveled in their opportunity to perform in the city where hip hop was birthed (Big Boi even kind of looked like a young Afrika Bambaataa). You could tell they got it, and they were having a good time. If you’ve ever been to a Flaming Lips show, then you understand how fun concerts can be if the artists are intentional about their shows. Outkast was on that level, cool graphics playing behind them, and a live band onstage (along with with a DJ);they did not miss a beat.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself until the very last song when I realized that everyone (they momma and they cousin too)would be heading for the exits and onto the ferry. I booked it to exits and left before the set was over and STILL ended up waiting for an hour to get onto the ferry. People were lollygagging, and taking their sweet ass time, chatting it up alongside other lollygaggers. I had no gumption at all about skipping in the line (its New York–you can do anything).

I was finally able to relax and be stoned for the evening ferry ride across the East River, taking it all in before
arriving at the island. I found a couple of 7-11 hot dogs on the way to the subway, scarfed them down, fell asleep, on the C train, and ended up on Rockaway Avenue. This cost me at least another hour of sleep, and when I finally made it to Crown Heights, I slept like a baby, but woke up dehydrated this morning. Today’s objective: drink plenty of water,stay out of the sun, and take a nap. Gotta rest up for pickup ball tomorrow. Below I posted more pics. There was a lot of eye candy yesterday, and I don’t just mean the ladies. I saw so many sweet throwback jerseys. In fact the guy who almost bought my ticket was wearing an old school white with gold trim, Warriors’ Chris Webber jersey–just like the one I wanted as a kid.

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All in all a pretty good day, but I’m way over budget. I may have to whore myself out on Craigslist on Monday and Tuesday to recover some ill advised purchases. I’ve got the clothes for it, t-shirt, shorts, and dirty sneakers. I ain’t scared. I’ll go up to a stranger’s house and help them move furniture to another apartment. Wait a minute what were you thinking I was going to say? Tsk. Tsk. You’re one sick fuck you know that?

I’m out.


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