B Side from 2010

25 Oct

Bedroom Jollies

 

One time an ex-girlfriend

and I were

fooling around

while I was battling the flu.

She tried giving

me a hand job

while I was standing

up

and I passed out against

the wall.

It felt so good

I couldn’t

dare ask

her to stop.

 

That night

was not nearly as

weird

as when

I didn’t

wash

my hands thoroughly

after making a

pizza with jalapeno

toppings.

I guiltily

laughed

when her hoo-hah

started burning

and she immediately

jumped from

the bedroom

to the shower.

 

It was funny

until my balls

started burning so

badly

that I strongly

considered

dipping them

into a bowl of milk

(I settled for

the sink.).

 

When it subsided

she and I

went back to bed

freshly washed

to get

down to business.

 

Another reason

why food

and sex isn’t

always a good mix.

 

~Edward Austin Robertson

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