Bedroom Jollies
One time an ex-girlfriend
and I were
fooling around
while I was battling the flu.
She tried giving
me a hand job
while I was standing
up
and I passed out against
the wall.
It felt so good
I couldn’t
dare ask
her to stop.
That night
was not nearly as
weird
as when
I didn’t
wash
my hands thoroughly
after making a
pizza with jalapeno
toppings.
I guiltily
laughed
when her hoo-hah
started burning
and she immediately
jumped from
the bedroom
to the shower.
It was funny
until my balls
started burning so
badly
that I strongly
considered
dipping them
into a bowl of milk
(I settled for
the sink.).
When it subsided
she and I
went back to bed
freshly washed
to get
down to business.
Another reason
why food
and sex isn’t
always a good mix.
~Edward Austin Robertson
Nuclear Polio Vaccination 
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