It Never Entered My Mind (For Becca)

25 Aug

We never dated

but we were never just friends either.

We could have set better boundaries.

Spending out time casually, eating, laughing, gently comforting,

listening to music and making dinner.

It always started out innocently enough

until we got too comfortable.

Then it became an issue

of how to say goodbye,

whether I should stay over

and if so…………..

It is easy to get wistful.

We had our needs

that neither of us could ultimately fulfill

in the long run, but the short term desires were often met.

If I were to waste my sweetness on anyone at the time

she was the most deserving.

It was easy to be kind to her.

Even then I could sense that it was a trial run

for when the real thing came along.

Had she given me a reason to stay

I probably would have.

But nothing would’ve come of it.

I’d have just hurt her

or she would have hurt me.

Those are pleasant memories.

We had fun together, some of it innocent.

Late night emails from the computer lab

soon became evening phone calls and mix CD’s,

which then became 3 hour drives to “not” spend

the weekend with her– hanging out, making out, doing drugs.

But I don’t miss her.

Just another college romance loaded down

with limitations,

but tempered with realistic expectations.



~Edward Austin Robertson




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