Birthday Poem

15 Oct

We walked towards the goodbye we knew was coming.
She deftly inserted her tongue into my mouth
I tasted the cool sweetness of wine on her lips
cold vapors escaping with heavy breathing.
I entrenched my hand in her back pocket
her mouth widened
while I softly squeezed,
trying to stay in rhythm with her
caught up in my awareness of her movements
the innocence escalating into arousal
not wanting it to end
but not wanting it to go further either
it could be a long time
or never again.
my cell phone vibrating happily inside my jacket pocket.

~Edward Austin Robertson

Day 12 Costa Rica Retroactive Diary

8 Oct

Hawkeye makes a mean stir-fry

The night before was pretty magical.  Cooking dinner with my bunkmate Austin, singing Talking Heads. We’d bought lots of vegetables and had to use them all before we left  for the next day. There was talk of hitching into San Isidro. The more I thought about it the more I liked the idea. I went to bed excited at the thought of doing it. This was pure hitchiking, something I’d only done once in the States during the worst snowstorm in Oklahoma history. Before I fell asleep I did the math and realized it was a full 3 weeks since my last orgasm and hadn’t had one the whole year of 2011.  WOW……..

Ended up hiking 5km with Austin. Had a few conversations and we were sitting down for water when a van full of Tico boys (futbol players) and their coaches picked us up. They couldn’t have been older than 11 years old. They were so cute. It was like out of a movie. So much energy and all I could do was smile. I felt silly trying to talk to them in my pedestrian Spanish. We kind of made it work. Sometimes I said yes to things I didn’t quite understand.

“Bobby!!!! Bobby!!! quien es su jugadore favorito? ” We talked about PS-2 games. Messi vs. Ronaldo. It was classic. It was sunny. It was beautiful. It was Costa Rica. Waited for the bus in San Isidro, exchanged some currency and waited. Travel days are always the worst.***********************

“Don’t mistake activity for achievement.”  ~John Wooden

*******************************************************************

How the fuck did I end up here?  Because I thought it’d be exciting to hitchike?

Cuz i thought I might get close to Pavla the Eastern European beauty? 5 km in the hot ass Costan Rican sun cost me a bus time and a chance to watch the Ravens-Steelers. (Steelers won and of course it was a classic)

Was it worth it? I guess. I wanted adventure and that is what I got, that and a little bad advice. Fucking A. Sleeping in a flop house. This place is a real shit hole and MORE expensive than the hostel in Chirripo. Maybe I should’ve gone to Domenical and tackled the trip the next day. Then I might have gotten to watch the Steelers play. Nothing is free right?

All the activity I had today and I’m still hours away from Montezuma. A boat and bus ride still seperate me from my final destination at this point. Have to wait until 5:00 Am before the first ferry departs. I might not even sleep. I may just lie awake with my knife out, in case the guy who runs this joint tries to murder me with his son. What a dump. When they walked me down the dark hall I quietly flipped out my blade and waited for the time to make my move–half expecting them to open a door where some tough Tican goons awaited me to get my cash.

Both father and son wore wife beaters and there was no a/c. The lobby (which resembled something closer to an apartment living room) housed some old man with a breathing machine watching television.

I knew they were just waiting for me to fall asleep and then WHAM. I wasn’t going to go easily though. I kept my clothes on, tried my best to lay on the flimsy sheet they gave me and left the light on..

If San Jose was Costa Rica’s version of Houston, then Punta Arenas was their version of Texas City (I’d say Miami but I’ve never been there) . I thought of the other possibilities I could’ve explored. I couldn’ve stayed at the casino in Alajuela and splurged…this town though reeked of old world criminal. pick pockets and stabbings.  Poor planning. I thought of my concubine back home. thought of the Steelers and Pats game next weekend, and Green Bay defeating Atlanta. This dump made my shitty apartment look like the Holiday Inn. Finally my eyes couldn’t take in any more light and the last thing I heard was my blade slipping from my hand and falling to the floor. If they wanted to ambush me then this would be their best chance. I just hoped I wouldn’t be able to feel it if they knifed me in my sleep.

famous last words

Costa Rica Retroactive Diary Day 11

8 Oct

Shipping off tomorrow, gotta make sure to book my hotel for the 23rd….get my laundry done and pay off the innkeepers (US dollars or colones). Know its gonna be hard to say goodbye to all the sweet  peeps up here. “Hawkeye”, golly and Pavla, Steven. Some new kids came in from Evergreen State–this couple. The girl reminds me of a chick from college I ran around with a bit..the dude– reminds me of my buddy Craig.

had some weird dreams the night before, about sex with an ex-lover. not sure what it means…..its been a while since I’ve beaten off at this point. Almost 2 solid weeks, certainly a B-mick record…..guess I can abstain from flogging the dummy…

also dreamt I was late for my exit bus and had to stay an extra day. Trying to figure out how to find a place to watch the Ravens-Steelers game–sure to be a classic…..they are pretty sure that hiker died up there….cold frightened and alone..what a way to go…….

went out to waterfall and swam..baptized myself in the chilled and icy water. Dunked my head under 3 times.  Gonna take it easy on myself. Gonna be okay with myself and who I am. I’m still a dirtbag. No more weddings until my affairs with married women are over. Be okay with the feelings of hypocrisy because I have to be.

Goodbye Pavla, perhaps we'll meet again.

B-Boys Fix

8 Oct

In honor of the Jewish New Year I posted this:

“How to impose a dictatorial regime”

1 Oct

1. Concentrate the populace in megalopolitan masses so that they can be kept under close surveillance and where they can be bombed, burned,gasses or machine gunned with a minimum of expense and waste.

2. Mechanize agriculture to the highest degree of refinement, thus forcing most of the scattered farm and ranching population into the cities. Such a policy is desirable because farmers, woodsmen, cowboys, Indians, fisherman and other self-sufficient types are difficult to manage unless displaced from their natural environment.

3. Restrict the possession of firearms to the police and the regular military organizations.

4. Encourage or at least fail to discourage population growth. Large masses of people are more easily manipulated and dominated than scattered individuals.

5. Continue military conscription. Nothing excels military training for creating in young men an attitude of prompt, cheerful obedience to officially constituted authority.

6. Divert attention from deep conflicts within the society by engaging in foreign wars;make support of these wars a test of loyalty, thereby exposing and isolating potential opposition to the new order.

7. Overlay the nation with a reticulated network of communications, airlines and interstate autobahns.

8. Raze the wilderness.Dam the rivers, flood the canyons, drain the swamps, log the forests, strip mine the hills, bulldoze the mountains, irrigate the deserts and improve the national parks into national parking lots.

 

~Edward Abbey from “Desert Solitaire” c. 1968

New book on lulu

20 Sep

CH-CH-CH check it out:

 

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/chasing-kerouac-with-my-credit-card/17177580?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/5

 

 

Excerpts from Turle Island

20 Sep

1. 92% of Japan’s three million ton import of soybeans comes from the U.S.

2. The U.S. has 6% of the worlds’s poplulation; consumes 1/3 of the energy annually comsumed in the world.

3. The U.S. consumes 1/3 of the world’s annual meat.

4. The top1/5 of American population gets 45% of salary income, and owns about 77% of the total wealth. The top 1% owns 20 to 30% of personal wealth.

5. A modern nation needs 13 basic industrial raw materials. By AD 2000 the U.S. will be import-dependant on all but phosphorus.

6. General Motors is bigger than Holland

7. Nuclear energy is mainly subsidized with fossil fuels and barely yeilds net energy.

8. The “Seven Sisters”-Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Gulf, Standard of California, British Petroleum, Royal Dutch Shell.

9.” The reason solar energy has not and will not be a major contributor or susbtitute for fossil fuels is that it will not compete without energy subsidy from fossil fuel economy. The plants have already maximized the use of sunlight.”-H.T. Odum

10. Our primary source of food is the sun.

 

“Facts” by Gary Snyder circa 1974

Butterfly

18 Sep

Of course it was 6:00 AM and I stumbled upon this footage of the Headhunters during the ’74 tour. Herbie has such a great tone on that Rhodes. Someday I might actually start posting more stuff. Been so busy with projects. But all done with the poetry trip (for now).

B-side from Brief Moments…..

25 Aug

Astrology

Some say that Capricorns can’t be
cornered.

Aquarians are always a-going.

Pisces paddle in pools of emotion.

Aries are almost never around

Taurus take no bull

Always two “I’s” in Gemini.

Cancers can be clingy little crabs.

Leo’s laments are just as loud as
their roar.

Virgos hide behind a veil of
vulnerability.

Libras make better lovers (and
listeners).

Scorpios only sting for their
survival

Sagitarians show more sarcasm than
sympathy.

Some think this stuff is true

others think its pure shit.

At times I think they’re both right.

~Edward Austin Robertson~

I never google myself but…..

13 Aug

I was trying to find some links so I could attempt to book a couple of poetry readings this fall when I ran into this. Check out the stache: