In Hindsight

10 Aug

The mature mindset would’ve been to enjoy the moment for what it was

and then let go of it forever.

Maybe we’d have stayed in touch, maybe we wouldn’t have.

The hormones were running high

and it’d been a while since I’d met someone who felt so lovely to be around.

As soon as I left her, however; some suppressed feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness

surfaced.

Things got messy at the first sign of turbulence.

But it was never about her.

 

Had we met today, I’m not sure there’d even be any sparks,

any mutual interest, or even things to converse about.

It was my first true femme fatale–

a woman whose thoughts impressed me as much as her body

(and boy what a nice body)—with a mind that was as manipulative as my own.

When it ended the way things did,  I was twice as angry with myself

as I was hurt by what she revealed herself to truly be.

So it was never about her.

 

 

I was a reckless man, thoughtless and cavalier,

and I got exactly what I deserved.

My animus–the best and worst of me—

reflected in a mirror.

Had I possessed any self awareness back then,

I could’ve recognized those patterns sooner—

the way I was treated in relation to the way I treated others;

beforehand and afterwards–

and realized much earlier, that it was never about her.

 

Edward Austin Robertson

 

 

 

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Vancouver, B.C. circa 2019 (For Tiago)

4 Aug

Honeymoon, honey baby, honey baby moon,

familiar coastlines, new story lines

relive old days through new eyes.

 

Drifting for decades,

coast to coast,

cement to sand to soil.

 

One month a newlywed,

many times broken

to become whole again.

 

Daylight lasts long into nightfall.

Crows as big as chickens.

Air cleaner and clearer

than memory originally served him.

The return of a calm long forgotten.

 

~Edward Austin Robertson

 

Greatest Football Player in the past 20 years

4 Aug

Initial Thoughts on Bandana: A non-review

9 Jul

freddie-gibbs-madlib-bandana-album-art

There are a lot of online reviews for the new Freddie Gibbs and Madlib collaboration, Bandana. I’ve read most of them. Some articles were bloated, text heavy articles that distracted from the subject matter and brought the focus onto the writer, some articles were short blurbs written by people who sound like they just started listening to rap music back in 2011, when they first discovered Kendrick Lamar. Some cats, were just plain disrespectful, saying that Madlib, without Freddie Gibbs, “might be just another ‘low-fi beats to  study to’ producer”. 

I’m not comfortable enough to write another goofy review on this album–nor do I think it is even necessary– because I don’t feel like I’ve studied it enough yet. I told myself it would take  at least 20 listens to have an informed opinion–and I’m only on my 14th listen–,but here is what I think so far.

 

Things I like:

  • Beats are incredible and all over the map; with multiple beats (most notably Fake Names)sandwiched in on the same songs. The production is A1, smooth, clean, but rugged (the biggest mindblower is that the beats were all made on an IPad. The skits and interludes are hilarious and bring the perfect amount of levity to an otherwise dark album. The album is perfectly sequenced and each song feels like a set up for the next. I’m not crazy about the first three songs on the album, but this is an album that must be digested in its entirety so I never skip them. Unlike, Pinata which comes out hard hitting and lets up periodically throughout the album, the first couple of tracks serve as exposition before things really begin with the single, Crime Pays. 
  • The guest appearances on the album are sparse, but effective. Palmolive seems to be a fan favorite , with Pusha T and Killer Mike (singing the hook–which I’m not crazy about when I’m honest about it) on a slow and soulful beat. Giannis, with Anderson Paak, and Education (featuring Black Thought and Yasiin Bey) strikes me as the two most powerful tracks.
  • The album hits a really sweet spot from Fake Names to Education (especially the back to back cuts, Cataracts and Gat Damn which feel so quintessentially L.A. to me)

 

Its a strong album. I’d like to both listen to Pinata and Bandana in order to get better perspective and context (I also can’t wait to hear the instrumentals version of this album). As of now its standing on a solid A-. My only criticisms are about a few verses that seem too similar to some Freddie Gibbs had written previously on other albums and guest appearances. It was the first time I’d heard Freddie get bested by other rappers on the same song.

Upon first listen, I was slightly underwhelmed and even got a little annoyed at a friend who suggested that Bandana “pooed” on Pinata. They are such different albums. Pinata is a slightly longer album (by 15 minutes), but one that can be listened to multiple times while driving in their vehicle (something I’m looking forward to with Bandana). Pinata feels harder, more street, with more bravado, while Bandana feels  more soulful and introspective. Pinata made me feel like Gibbs had pushed past the uphill part of the grind but was still not quite where he wanted to be yet. Bandana feels like he’s finally gotten to the top of the hill and is now reflecting on what it took to get there.

Regardless, it is a very important album that one can tell that a lot of thought went into every step of it being made. Gibbs says that he wrote the lyrics to the album at the same time as he was writing for the mixtape, Fetti (the under the radar mixtape he made with  Curren$y), and his solo album, Freddie. 

Rumor has it that this is only the second part of a MadGibbs trilogy in waiting. I hope for our sake it doesn’t take another 5 years for us to hear it.

Favorite Tracks:

Situations (hardest song on the album much like Thuggin’ on Pinata)

Fake Names (Possibly Freddie’s best display of rapping)

Gat Damn (My second favorite track on here. A great juxtaposition of a feel good beat and somber yet melodic lyrics)

Education (super heavy)

Giannis (My Third favorite track)

Least Favorite Tracks:

Half Manne Half Cocaine, Massage Seats (the only two tracks that still have yet to get more interesting with each listen)

BM

 

 

 

profile pic b mick  Bobby Mickey is the alter ego of writer and poet Edward Austin Robertson. When he isn’t involved in some basketball related activity, actively looking for parties to deejay or on the airwaves at KDVS, he is working on his basketball book, This a Good Ass Game.

 

 

 

 

 

Brief Moments of Shared Experience available for purchase

29 May

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/brief-moments-of-shared-experience-edward-austin-robertson/1131659439?ean=9781634987165

 

More where that came from within the year. Stay Tuned.

 

~Mick

Geeking Out on the Smokes

19 May

Tourist

5 May

She kissed me at the peak of the guitar riff crescendo

near the tail end of OK Computer.

I couldn’t tell you if I thought it was romantic or not,

my head was still spinning for my college sweetheart–

couldn’t even slow my mind down enough

to just shut up and enjoy the moment.

I’d run off to the next available vixen

and we’d barely had the chance to get to know the other person

we were just staying out all night getting our buzz on

and mugging down as we saw fit.

Yorke singing in my ear to “slow down”

while I was on her couch trying to navigate her tongue with my own.

 

~Edward Austin Robertson