There was a period of time
(between Post Office and Women)
where Bukowski reportedly was celibate
for ten years.
Ten years. No nookie. What the hell?
I woke up the other day
and realized I was almost halfway there.
Again. What the hell?
~Bob E. Freeman
It hit me at that very moment
crumbling herb at some party
in my t-shirt and blue jeans
that maybe my Spanish teacher
was correct.
True I was not hanging out
at the local Dairy Queen
and P & S,
but I wasn’t that far removed
from that reality.
High School graduation was already
2 years ago.
What was I doing?
I took a look around the room.
Everyone holding a drink
was either going or transferring
to a big university.
I didn’t even have a plan.
Working as a parking attendant
at the race track wasn’t sustainable.
What turned out as a minor curiosity
became an escape.
That night was the first inkling
that my emptiness
was something I could no
longer afford to ignore.
~Bob E. Freeman
I washed my hands
looked into the mirror
and smiled.
Kansas wasn’t an easy move to make.
You have to want to find Lawrence.
You don’t wind up there by accident.
You can’t fly there
and no bus or train will take you without
stopping in Kansas City, Missouri first.
I’d left the comfortable trappings
of a cushy middle management gig
in Texas for a period of uncertainty
in some random college town that most of my friends
didn’t know existed.
It made sense to no one but me.
I needed to absorb the history of the town
where modern basketball was birthed
long after the first shots of the Civil War rang out.
A town where Nick Collison became a local legend
and Hall of famers like Wilt the Stilt,
Paul Pierce and JoJo White made their bones.
Greg Ostertag starred at the neighboring high school
in Dallas.
Met Gale Sayers once in an elevator
who I had no idea–before that day–that he was a KU alum.
He looked nothing like Billy Dee Williams.
I once asked a coworker who’d
played center at Oklahoma State,
what it was like to play in Allen Fieldhouse as a visitor,
and he said it was “kinda spooky.”
One of the best years of my life was spent living in Lawrence, Kansas
But I didn’t know that yet.
I would’ve never guess that I would roam the same halls
where Danny Manning won a high school state championship.
Didn’t know how often I would run into guys like
Wayne Simien, Scott Pollard and Ben McLemore
randomly at places like the grocery store or the taco shop.
Or that I would enjoy some of my best moments
microdosing and playing basketball with friends
or one of the most memorable birthdays ever
at an in conference game with two good buddies.
All those summer visits to Lawrence and KC led to this:
playing pickup soccer under soft Kansas sunsets,
learning on the fly in a semi competitive league.
pining to meet someone
who’d lived in Lawrence during the golden age of 1996 to 2003.
Before the development of the west side
and destruction of the marshes.
None of it made sense.
How do you explain the chills of
being in attendance at game in Allen Fieldhouse
walking around with all the ghosts in town?
It was something one had to experience for themselves.
The intensity and fun of various pickup games
on the town’s many courts–
and the beauty of seeing basketball hoops in every other driveway.
Those pleasures would not be mine
had I not taken that chance.
Moved to the middle of nowhere
to a state where I knew no one
and didn’t have a notion of how I would make a living,
or frankly, where I would live.
But it would all work out
in ways I could never predict.
Of course, I didn’t know that at the time
staring in the mirror
and drying my my hands,
before joining the throng
of people playing board games
in the living room.
It definitely felt like home.
I just wasn’t sure for how long.
~Bob E. Freeman
that I’m going to live until the age of 84.
Somewhere in my 50’s
I’ll obtain a PHD so people can call me
Dr. Bob.
I will visit Osaka, Japan
and attend a baseball game there.
Perhaps I’ll even get to see the Cherry Blossoms
during my stay.
Then maybe somewhere around 60
I might be ready for another kid.
~Bob E. Freeman
Sleeping with someone you casually connect with
is almost as confusing as
sleeping with someone you don’t respect
(especially if you’re raw dogging).
Your body can trick your mind
into falling in love
or thinking that you did.
~Bob E. Freeman
Woke up on the floor to my cell phone alarm
going off.
Folded up my sleeping bag
and found my carefully hung up slacks
and collared shirt.
Slowly started dressing in the dark.
I visualized my goals–both long and short term,
then walked down the stairs
and out into the still morning.
My grace period was over
and it was time to put in work.
Goodbye Enemy Airship
Hello adulthood.
~Bob E. Freeman
I. High afternoon passions
her skin complemented
the living room decor
of my studio apartment.
Sometimes tender.
Sometimes erotic.
But never too aggressive.
II. The lowest of frequencies
brought us back
late one night
for some herb
and some tunes
and a little bit of tongue.
My intentions were mild
at best, but things grew raucous
with one casual click of the mouse.
~Bob E. Freeman
She told me that perhaps
I should take a break from romance
and focus my energies on being an artist.
It took me a couple of missteps
before I finally took her advice.
~Bob E. Freeman
Nuclear Polio Vaccination 