Observations from the seat of a speeding toilet

19 Jun

Tulsa International airport may have some of the friendliest airport staff I’ve ever encountered, makes horrors like Atlanta and Chicago O’ Hare prison.

Something I noticed while taking off my shoes……..advertisements in the bins where you run your things through…. can’t remember what they were advertising…I was just astonished at how genius the idea was……I think it was for some shoe store… no lie……

not down with the automatic changeable toilet guards at O’ Hare airport…looks tacky, don’t trust em…..reminds me of when people in the dorms put saran wrap on the seats…..

this just in……people are freaks…….awkward, insecure, and neurotic…..no wonder genuinely confident people stand out so much…….

ran into Chris Duhon at the O’ Hare airport. Kicking it in some basketball shorts and a t-shirt. this guy went to Duke, plays for the New York Knicks and is a millionaire (and barely six feet in sneakers). man it must feel good to be him, just roll out of bed, put some mesh shorts on, sneakers and catch a plane to Chicago…….now that my friends is Baller.

This is always a good sign when I run into athletes at the airport. I ran into Jamal Mashburn in Atlanta once, Franco Harris in Pittsburgh airport (home of Mr. Rogers), Brian Grant in PDX, and Frank Thomas in LAX when I was 20.
Working on no sleep from the previous night, and very little from the night before, it was going to be a tough day. Shuttling about like a madman I made it to the airport on time, paid for the 15 dollar checked bag fee (crock of shit) then had to deal with a crazy delay in Chicago because they had too many people or too many bags. They couldn’t figure out if they needed to move bags or bodies so they did neither and the they did both, then finally we moved across the country and I fell asleep, waking up only to hear us touch down.

Then I went through customs, took a dump, got my bags, did a currency exchange, took a shuttle to the subway station, then took a tube to my host’s place on Bathhurst. Where I found him waiting on me (although I had no way of getting a hold of him i forgot to get his number).
Anyway we went down to Sneaky Dee’s and saw Experimental Dental School (from Portland) and then the So SO Glos (from Brooklyn) both raucous (I was seeing hallucinations from lack of sleep and surplus of toxins from the beer).

The drummer from the So SO Glos was a beast, and they threw down. about 6 tunes I really liked, (think the Clash meets, Jimmy Eat World) the funniest moment came when the singer started blabbering and the sound guy said “Less talking, more guitar please).

I laughed. I was also wearing my “Don’t Mess with Texas” sweatshirt.

quickies on Toronto:

Great transportation system, efficient, the city is the cleanest I’ve ver visited.

A ridiculous amount of hot chicks (a grab bag of races too)


great beer

great architecture

and very green (getting a plastic bag with your purchase costs consumers 5 cents more towards your total)

I love it.
I could see myself working for an advertising firm out here, or a major publication, or just kicking it here for a summer.

To wrap it all up, I’m checking into staying an extra day or two so i can see Kid Dracula, Bram Stoker’s Dracula played to KID and OK Computer at this cinema, the last couple of times I’ve missed it so I’m making it a point to see it.

Anyway I may have to stay at a hostel and was looking into bookings for Tuesday….as the clerk told me that I could get in if I wanted, I gave her a fist pound (she was a cutie) and as soon as my hand hit hers the Gap band came on the radio ( big shout outs to Tuuuuuuulsa)

it was meant to be.

It’s gonna be a great trip.



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