Intelligence is the distance between your brain and your genitals

30 Mar

It be quite simple to say that I didn’t make the pro’s because I couldn’t hit the curveball

but that’s not exactly true is it?

I could knock the shit out of it

or foul it away if i knew what was coming.

I whiffed on the first one I’d ever seen

a 3-2 pitch from this tall gangly eighth grader

and he made me look foolish

but 2 years later I remembered

what he’d done to me with the very same count

in the exact same circumstances.

I was dialed in when he tossed it

and it hung there asking for me

to boomerang it over the right fielder’s head for

a game changing two run triple.

Our team rolled theirs the rest of the way

and I felt like a hero.

And maybe that was when I peaked as an athlete.

Or maybe I didn’t work hard enough

or maybe I was just plain distracted

and never reached my full potential.

Maybe had I practiced more

found my focus

and had some discipline I’d have been good enough

to play at a small college somewhere in Texas.

But I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants

and pussy derailed my baseball career.

Had I focused on anything as much

as I did on getting laid

I’d probably be rich by now.

~Edward Austin Robertson~


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