KOBE!!!!!

7 Apr

Am I the only one that is surprised that Mattel hasn’t conceived of a Kobe Bryant action figure? There should have been a franchise by now. Think of all the different Kobe’s there could be (with matching accessories):

#8 Kobe- comes with detachable mini Afro, and perpetual scowl.

2012 Post All Star Kobe- come s with a plastic Michael Myers mask and a trigger that makes his jaw jut out like an eel and his arm thrust into an animated fist pump.

2004 Adulterer Kobe- come s with 3 piece suit for rape trial with #8 jersey underneath suit. Also come s post surgery knee brace and tearful apology.

63 and 81 points scoring Kobe- comes with #24 jersey and matching detachable yellow (over sized) cod piece.

Divorcee Kobe- This comes with the Tony Parker action figure as a sidekick.

For some reason it tickles me to picture them hanging out at one of those “Eyes Wide Shut” Parties” in Hollywood after a Lakers-Spurs game– wearing their game day jerseys and those weird creepy masks to conceal their identity.

and of course, last but not least,

aspiring model Kobe-comes with all white garb including over sized bowler hat and matching white bow tie, and shawl..

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