The Magic of Differences

Its easy to forget
that it ALWAYS
starts out good
feeling fresh
lots of laughter to go around for the both of you.

Every new moment
a magical spark
every touch
new area of the body explored
a minor victory,
merely a precursor
in hope that
you don’t end up hating each other
as a result,
fighting back the urge
to choke the other person (if there were no legal consequences)
to throw a brick through their car windshield
an ending
so inconvenient and unpleasant;
as if there was never a reason to like that person
you once shared a bed with
bared your souls
cut your farts
heard their snores
shared your secrets
let loose desires
and made silent wishes.

it never ends the way its supposed to
or does it?

(Isn’t there a point where one doesn’t need anymore eggs?)

One never goes into a relationship thinking
it will be a waste of time and energy
that a lesson is unnecessary to take
into the next trip with someone
who is (not altogether) different,
that they will encounter a dread of
running into that no so special anymore
someone.

A fruitless endeavor indeed
if friendship or friendliness
or courtesy is no longer
in the picture.
What is to be gained?

One only can hope that
the next time there will be less mistakes
that one will feel more secure,
express thoughts more freely
less harshly
leave with less regrets than the previous trip
see more things to care about
less things to critique
and say nothing to that can’t be taken back.

To realize that you must learn to laugh at your insecurities
and learn to recognize the taste of swallowing jealousy
and laughing at it as well
to not resent that person
because that person is only
a reflection of you
a mirror image of your subconscious

no shrugging of the shoulders
to struggle to remember
(and forget) why it didn’t work out
and move on with newer (less painful) memories

parties agree to disagree
imbalance can lead to
confusion and conflict
wounds tender and raw
loathing and the loss of respect.

(Its no fun no matter which side of the fence you land)

Avoid the urge to dress it up
for fear of seeming too carnal
Avoid the primal urge
to deflect
to lay blame
to denounce
and just accept
that
once upon a time
that moment was shared

before the ugliness
before the deal breakers and the ugly edicts
when the differences were negligible,

before falling into the camps of the forgotten
or the ones who got away
or the ones who never had a chance.

~Edward Austin Robertson

Tags: Edward Austin Robertson