For Danielle

2 May

She wasn’t the nicest
nor was she the prettiest
and certainly not the
best girlfriend I ever had.
But she was my favorite

(And not just because she was a champion
in bed–
both for our unmatched frequency
and her desire to take it to the abyss).

She had her moments
but I would dare not call her sweet.
We constantly fought
but she could still send me to laughter
with her mean and clever digs.

We were a joke
unhealthy together
but she grew on me easier than the others
I could sympathize with her plight
and could go from wanting to shake her in one minute

too much time wasted arguing
she had to be right all the time
I was too self righteous.
We chafed easily
with words that couldn’t be taken back.

Too much on our plates
to appreciate
what the other brought to the table.

But despite all her crap
she was easy to love.

To this day she thinks
it was easy to leave
that it wasn’t something I had to do
to survive–
It just didn’t make sense on paper.

I’d hoped a break would give us a chance to mend
that time could bring forth some cohesion
while certain issues flushed themselves out
but there were events in motion that
could not be reversed.

Even 2 years later,
I catch myself wondering
why I didn’t just swallow my pride
and take her back
in the face of my own ideals and standards,
for what is freedom without compromise
when the possibilities are no longer wide open?

I’m much happier today
but its never easy to think about,
and she may always believe otherwise
but I miss her the most out of any of them.

~Edward Austin Robertson


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