Nuclear Polio Vaccination

They offer a cross fit class at the local YWCA. Its free with a membership there. The instructor for the class is smoking hot. I’d run into her a few times doing private lessons with people (of course she’s engaged).  

Anyway its a new year and I’m doing all kinds of shit I ain’t normally into. Took up painting, bought myself a long board. Ya know, broadening my horizons.

 I figured it’be a breeze. I mean I was an athlete in high school for Pete’s sake. No problem right? I could show off my grit and impress this chick (and every other hottie in the class) by displaying my athletic prowess.

WRONG!!!!

Nothing more humiliating than not being able to physically pony up in front of a woman you fantasize about fucking.

I’d rather have had my ass kicked by a muscular dude and slung into a pinball machine like what happened to Superman (one of the biggest lessons in men-women relationships–if you give up the thing that makes you YOU  just to be with a women, then she will inevitably leave you for being a pussy).

The lesson that I learned that day was this: If you’re going to have a trainer that is smoking hot. You better be in shape enough to fuck her.  

It was an sobering and deflating experience in humility.  I felt exposed.  These old ass men and women were running circles around me during the workouts.

I could see her secretly berating me and critiquing me. ” Oh you think you’re such hot shit don’t you Robert? You think you could get some of this pussy and do some damage? Bullshit. You’re a scrub.

You’re a minute man compared to the dudes that can actually answer the bell in the bedroom. You might even have a big dick, but you’re just an A-Rod in the bedroom.

You have the numbers to back up your validity. But when the real deal moments come up, you come up short.

You’re one of those guys people see and think, I bet he’s a good lay. I bet he’s a specimen. But it isn’t true is it? You washed up, flabby, past your prime chump!

That old ass man in the corner there could fuck me better than you could. Here’s a towel. Wipe yourself off. You’re through here. You’re done– you’re pathetic, you’re not ready for the big leagues son.

You never were. Face the facts! Here’s a quarter. Play again next time. You’re not worthy enough to sniff my tampon!”

But her demeanor never changed throughout the workout. Everyone was encouraging, and she never said anything demeaning or emasculating.

She smiled and cheered me on without any hint of condescension. She gave me a high five and said “Good job.” Told me to come back again the next week.

But I haven’t yet. I’m still trying to get over my pride. I still have that feeling like the ones I had back when I had my first case of premature ejaculation. I mentally want to get back in there. But my body just isn’t ready yet (in those cases I could just eat the pussy until I was ready again).

There is no short cut to fitness.  Either I gotta get in better shape or keep getting humiliated. I never thought that it’d be like this at age 33. I’m supposed to be in my prime.

She was built like this but much better looking. Only Conan the Barbarian would be worthy of some of that ass!!!

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Tags: Cross Fit, superman