So in order to weed out the bad ones…a buddy and I decided I needed to come up with a few key questions to give me an idea of what kind of girl I’m dealing with. A small little survey if you will.
Though I think about how much easier it was to meet women in college. it was like the school was just floodgate for young coeds, and classes were designed simply so you could meet women with similar interests.
Now what are you to do? Where can you meet these women? If you work all the time, come home to rest, and then go back to work, two options exist:
Date women at work (not an option where I am)
or go to the bar.
If you’re lucky, you may meet a woman at a concert, or at the library, but how often does this happen?
I do recall a buddy of mine from California, went up on Grizzely Peak in Berkeley to watch the sunset and met this hot Isreali girl who was also watching the sunset. They hit it off and yadda yadda yadda, she and he, and her friend and I are in san Francisco eating tapas (but that was the one exception I can think of).
I’ve tried online dating and I’m even more awkward at starting conversations online than in real life……
and then there is Facebook….you can meet up with old girls you never closed the deal with and finally hook up with Susie Silverstein from 11th grade English. you don’t have to go through silly conversation just to find out if she’s single or not……her dating status is already presented for you…….not sure if this’ll work for me either…..but in case I do meet another woman, she’s gonna get directed to this blog where she’ll hopefully cut and paste the questions and answer them seperately on an email.
From the guy who brought you the McFail scale…..well I couldn’t come up with a name for this questionaire……(The Eclectic Bmick acid test???)so we’ll just bring on the questions:
1)I’m satisfied if I can have sex ______ times a week.
2) What is your opinion on psycho-active drugs?
3)Girl on girl makes me feel__________.
4)When people ask me what kind of music I like, I reply
a) I like a little bit of everything except country
b) I like a little bit of everything except rap
c) I really only listen to NPR
d) depends on what mood I’m in.
5) Is there a history of mental illness in your family?
6)What STD’s are you most likely carrying?
a)HPV
b)full blown herpes
c) just got over a case of the clap
d) I’m clean as a broke dick dog
e) your buddies wouldn’t fuck me with YOUR dick
7) Sucking dick is
a) disgusting
b) a chore but I’ll do it if I love you enough
c) as routine to me as an after dinner mint.
8) If a guy offered me 5,000 dollars cash on the spot to watch a dog (of my choice) lick my pussy I’d react by_________.
9) My mother gained _______ lbs after she had kids.
10) If I had a milion dollars I’d_______.
11) My favorite time of the day to have sex is ____.
12) My favorite sexual position is____.
13) If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it to be?
14) Which do you prefer, finger in the ass, tongue in the ass, dick in the ass, or none of the above?
15)This term best describes me,
a)Tom Boy
b) Lipstick lezzie
c) Ball buster
d) Princess
e) none of the above I’m better described as a________.
16)Going to a sporting event as a date sounds like,
a) fun
b) ridiculous
c) complete waste of time
d) something I’d do once in a while but only if it appeases my boyfriend.
17) A guy who goes grocerey shopping in his bathrobe is
a)lazy degenerate who should be ostracized from society
b) probably a poseur asshole who watched too much Lebowski
c) laid back guy who is comfortable with himself.
18) A man who makes less money than me can_______.
19)When my boyfriend is watching sports I
a) nestle next to him on the couch and beg for his attention
b) complain when he’s not giving me his attention
c) go run errands or go outside to do yard work.
d) grab a couple of beers and sit down and watch with him.
20) Cooking and cleaning is
a) woman’s work
b) something our hired help did when I was growing up
c) pretty fun with the right tunes and good company.
21) List in order of preference the kind of movies you pay to see
a) documentaries
b) drama
c) comedy
d) action and thriller
e) romantic comedy
f) horror
g) science fiction
22) Taking this survey made me
a) My butthole clench tighter than a Gorilla’s fist
b) Just a bit more dumber
c) wonder how in the hell did Bobby Mickey ever get a girlfriend.
Thanks for playing.
BMick
“Traveling there soon became a bore, so I headed for the ditch. A rougher ride, but I saw more interesting people there.”
Nuclear Polio Vaccination 