Tag Archives: Chris Rock

Geeking out on Hot ’97

10 Jan

Still can’t believe I saw this cat in person last summer. Just listening to him talk makes me wanna step my game up.

East Coast Trippin’ Days 15-16: “Gotta Pay to Play”

9 Jun

2014-06-08 15.57.23

This has to be one of the best weekends in recent memory. Friday night of course was the Outkast show and it was awesome. I spent most of Saturday recovering, but by that night, I was ready to get back out there.

Brooklyn Museum is one of the more unique museums you’ll ever go to. The relationship between the museum and the community is like no other I’ve seen before. The DMA in Dallas is a fairly stuffy arrangement and their “Final Fridays” events I have often found to be lacking in joy, life, and color (no pun intended).

First Saturday at the Brooklyn Museum felt like a singles nightclub. There were tons of people in their extravagant gabs and accessories. I was very happy I didn’t wear my “never nude” shorts as I originally planned.

Wow. New York women. It isn’t that the women of New York are prettier than any other major city in the world. There are just more of them. Why is this the most expensive city in the United States? Because there are so many dime pieces living here bruh! Every five minutes, I would see the most stunning woman I’d ever seen, until the next woman happened to stroll by.

If I moved to this city it would have to be with a gal already in tow. Too much to choose from. Anyone who has ever gone to dinner with me can attest that I’m notoriously indecisive. It takes me 10 minutes just to decide what kind of soda I want to drink. Not only that, but the city is huge. You meet someone and the chances are you’ll never see them again. It leads to a very informal, impersonal exchange between people. The chances of me landing a date without the use of an online service would be slightly better than getting struck by lightening. I think it would be the same situation for me if I happened to be a woman. It makes me miss the innocent days of college where I could just chat up a girl for a few minutes, listen to her talk for 2 hours, then bring her back to the crib for some casual sex.

Once my claustrophobia wore off (which may or may not have been due to the hyper aware state I was in), I peeped game on some of the exhibits #Activism. There were a lot of good pieces, but my favorites were the Ai Wei Wei, “According to What” exhibit, and Judy Chicago.

Some of her pieces were pretty trippy. There was this “Rejections series” that she did, where she would paint these electrifying and colorful labia-esque objects and write notes within the paintings. I only went to the first, fourth, and fifth floors, but each level had at least one mind blowing piece in every room. It was inspiring, stimulating, and thought provoking.

I got invited to go to the Comedy Cellar for a 10:30 show. The Comedy Cellar is kind of a grab bag kind of deal, you never know who is going to perform there. We saw Colin Quinn hanging out, someone said that Dave Atell was probably going to perform. I’m not a big fan of either comic so it was whatever. A couple of comedians who’d been on Letterman performed and it was funny. Not dying laughing funny, but it was good. Then the MC that night comes out and says “Well like we say, you never know who is going to be here…..ladies and gentleman…. Chris Rock.” My eyes lit up. My buddies and I just looked at each other in curious disbelief. Sure enough, the “Rock” appears on stage and commences to give us an hour and a half of un rehearsed jokes. It was incredible. It took my brain a few minutes just to process what I was seeing.

Chris Rock was one of the original reasons I got into comedy so much as kid. In high school I had all his comedy albums (on cassette tape) and I loved the Chris Rock show. There he was literally 10 feet away from me, MC Gusto, Pookie from “New Jack City”, and the narrator of Pootie Tang. It was bananas.

After seeing that badass exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum, I thought there was no way my mind could be blown any further. Wrong! Wrong!

With that said, yesterday was pretty low key. Spent the day in Prospect Park with my buddy, and then we got some frozen yogurt. Then I spent the rest of the evening watching a travesty of a basketball game. Tomorrow I take off for Vermont in hopes of interviewing the “Spaceman” Bill Lee. I don’t even know if he even lives there. He is probably out playing in some baseball league somewhere exotic like Nova Scotia, or Halifax. Sigh. Why do all my heroes have to be weirdos?

Smelling the screams ofa half eaten hot dog trapped within my stomach lining

26 Jun

Every where you go you hear “Thriller” being played on the radio.

I remember a young Irish-Italian hottie putting it on at her place(this was in college) and I was dubious but then I listened and couldn’t believe all the hits on it.

It made me feel sad about Michael, not him dying, but the way his life was.

“If you knew his Daddy you know he never had a chance.”
thats from Chris Rock’s what happened to just being crazy bit.

Maybe he was molested and he passed that on and became a pederast himself. Maybe the family covered up Latoya’s allegations to keep the family looking good. Why would you pay if you were innocent? Opens up the doors for so many allegations and doubts.

Maybe he died when he heard about Farrah, or maybe he died to upstage her, just when she was finally getting her last spot in the limelight. R.I.P. Micahel and Farrah. Just proves fame doesn’t protect you from life’s pitfalls

Congratulations Toronto, you wanted it so badly and now you’ve got it.

You’re just like New York. Your city stinks to high heaven.

Just give them their sick days and be through with it. You’re better than NYC. Behave like it. You should realize how lucky you are. No need to be jealous of New Yorkers. They don’t have it that great.

Now get out there and clean up that fucking garbage.

Seriously.

BM

Stitches

14 May

There's more to Bobby Mickey than a big penis and wonderful smile.

There's more to Bobby Mickey than a big penis and wonderful smile.

I suppose growing up watching Groucho Marx and JerryLewis films will have a weird effect on you.

You start thinking about the road you’ve taken and you realize just how much the little things can afffect you in a big way.

When people aske me why or how I got started in comedy, the easiest and most direct answer is that I met a girl in San Francisco who worked as a Cocktail waittress at a comedy club.

I fell in love with her and wanted to impress her so I started going to the place she worked. Realizing I was just as funny if not funnier than the guys I was paying to watch, I decided to get on stage myself.

But that’s not the whole story.

I grew up reading comic strips Dagwood, Dilbert, Pearls for Swine, Calvin and Hobbes, Boondocks, and Foxtrot are some of my all-time faves.

As for cartoons, there was Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, Loony Tunes, Pink Panther, Rocky and Bullwinkle (obviously if you’ve seen my stand up), Dudley Do Right, George of the Jungle, Yogi Bear, Boondocks, Aqua Teen, Family Guy, Simpsons, The Venture Brothers, Frisky Dingo, Stroker and Hoop…I was and still am a serious cartoon junky (hell Bobby Hill was one of my first inspirations to become a stand up), especially when i realized how much they are really for big kid/adult types.

then of course there was Beavis and Butthead, Daria, Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiam. These shows helped me get in touch with my inner, dark, cynical, asshole self. Quite freeing.

When I was 13 I started watching Def Comedy Jam as a kid, Shucky Ducky, Hamburger, Dave Chappelle, Martin, Joe Torry, Bernie Mac, Chris Tucker, Eddie Murphy, and Chris Rock

were some of my first comedic influneces.

I preferred In Living Color to Saturday Night Live, and the Kids in the Hall were a weekly Sunday night treat for me.

I lvoed comic sitcoms also, Beverly Hillbillies, Green Acres, My Favorite Martian, Get Smart, Gomer Pyle, My Three Sons, Mr. Ed, the Munsters, The Addams Family..the list goes on and on.

 

I just always liked to laugh.

When Nixon died in 1993, I wrote a skit about him parodying the Jim Rome show.

When I was a junior in college, I started writing my own blog called Raving and Drooling. It was sophomoric and bratty, but occasionally I had nuggets of insight.

Most of the time I just took potshots at my ex-girlfriend and wrote crazy things like “Dear Machiavelli” or “You’re a good man Charlie Murphy.”

Around this time I started watching lots of stand up, Pryor, Rock, Redd Foxx (I was raised on Sanford and Son) and Chris Rock.

Last Comic Standing was just getting on television and I felt like I had a legitimate shot at being just as funny as any of those yahoos.

So I got up at an open mic and did jokes about shaving my pubes, ex- girlfirends and other silly mundane things….I sucked…(and almost swallowed a condom) but it was like the first time I went surfing, I realized it was something i wanted to do the rest of my life.

5 years later I’ve finally disgarded the soggy biscuit jokes and I”ve had my share of groupies (can’t turn them into girlfriends I’ve learned)

and I’ve learned a lot from touring, and performing all over

and there still isn’t a better feeling than making someone barrell over in laughter. It brings me more pleasure than giving a girl an organism err– orgasm.

But if you really want to know what got me into comedy, it was this article in playboy

20 Q’s with Jamie Foxx. He said in it “that being funny is an awesome gift to have because women love funny dudes. Even you’re not sleeping with them, they will always want to be around you because they love dudes who can make them laugh.”

I took this to heart and realized that I wanted to be funnier and to be funnier I needed to be smarter.

So I enrolled back into university and took classes, and the rest of course, is history.