Deserve has got nothing to do with it.

13 Mar

I must have been really down to do something like that to myself
I must have been so numb to initiate something so self destructive
like a cutter, hurting themselves to see if they were still capable of feeling.

The most sour, vindictive, superficial, petty piece of pussy
I ever put my dick into.

Her Tammy
My Chinaski.

Why the fuck would I do this to myself?

Why would I think I deserved this?

Someone who cared more for furry animals
her vinyl collection
tattoos, and fashion
than genuine communication.

She could take the dick
but not the criticism
a gal that much in denial is dangerous

how could she be honest with me
when she was constantly lying to her own self?

Walked right into a buzz saw because
I was feeling too sorry for myself
to pay attention.

Oops. My bad.

No matter.
Wont happen again.

But if it were to happen again
it will definitely
be full sass
no holding back
full tilt
all barrels locked
and firing.
And hopefully it would involve some
freshly sliced mangoes.

It would be the most indulgent thing
I ever done in my life.

~Edward Austin Robertson

Can you tell what's on my mind?

Can you tell what’s on my mind?


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