Yasmin the Light

23 Jan

I tried my best to focus on the show

knowing she was only a feet away

somewhere in the ballroom.

And I wanted to ask her what she thought

but she was already hanging out with

someone she’d met on Tinder

just a revolving door

of first dates

instead of really dealing with whatever she was going through.

I wanted to still be friends

wanted even to pick things back up after a bit of space

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see anyone else

but I was interested in the possibility of sleeping with other women

for a short spell.

I didn’t know what that meant

and wasn’t sure how to tell her

that I felt like I was suffocating

and that my life was moving in the wrong direction

if any direction at all.

ANd worst of all, I was homesick,

longing for a place that I wasn’t sure ever existed.

I felt , anchored to mediocrity, rudderless

and sometimes being with her only 

reminded me of everything else

that I wasn’t doing.

But I was open to trying it again

if she could just get her head straight.

If I didn’t have to drag her away from her comforts.

No one was rooting harder for her to do it than me.

But these were all feelings that I didn’t have words for.

But seeing how lost she looked

only brought those feelings home

when the band started playing Yasmine the Light.

It was already too late, but neither of us knew it yet.

~Bob E. Freeman

Downtown St. Louis, circa 2011

16 Dec

We felt the hostility of the city the second we pulled into town.

Everyone was in on the grift and Adrian and I were the Marks.

The flophouse advertised as a hostel was straight out of a skid row novel.

Our baseball tickets were juiced up by about 50 bucks and we knew because

the patrons sitting next to us had sold them to the guy we’d bought them from.

No bar or restaurant was open past 9 pm on a Monday night in the middle of downtown.

This was no Wrigleyville.

As we meandered about just trying to find any place that would sell us food,

some middle aged Italian guy was halfway inside his car

yelling at some poor woman standing on the other side

sobbing loudly; head in hands

it was surreal

and I was mostly mesmerized by

a similar image from the night before

of me berating my own sobbing girlfriend

as she was halfway getting into her car,

because she had tricked me into

thinking she’d eaten all my weed brownies–a whole panful.

“HEY NIGGER!” The Italian man yelled in my direction. Snapping me out of my stupor.

“What are you looking at?”

My buddy gasped.

I laughed. “Nothing man. Just minding my business” is what I wanted to say.

Instead we just kept walking, laughing awkwardly at our luck,

stomachs growling.

It was really unfortunate that the Royals weren’t in Kansas City

until Tuesday.

It would’ve made for a much nicer trip.

~Bob E. Freeman

Cuckold

12 Nov

I was at the casino the other night

when I overheard a man explaining point spreads to his lady friend.

They were an older couple, early 50’s probably.

I looked up for a second, and caught her gaze

as she gave me a long, slow wink with her left eye.

I smiled back and focused on my kiosk parlays.

As I was making another bet,

she said something that made me laugh.

Then I heard her say,

“You sure seem like a lot of fun.”

I looked up and smiled, “why yes I am.”

Then she and her male friend told me who they were rooting for.

Let’s just say I wasn’t surprised when she told me she was an Arizona State grad.

It was only later that night when I was telling my brother about it

that I realized that she and her friend may have had an agreement for their situation,

which I wouldn’t want part of.

I’m not saying she wasn’t attractive, she was.

But I could never see myself being comfortable enough

to pipe down some guy’s lady

while they were in the room watching.

I would never be able to relax, much less perform.

If the guy even breathed too hard I would be done.

“Say man. You can’t be in here acting all weird. And zip your pants up man. What you think this is, Pee Wee’s Playhouse?”

“Hey man. You can’t be in here man. You’re ruining my concentration.

Here’s a dixie cup. You can listen against the door.

Or better yet, go in the other room and watch us on your laptop. I know you got a hidden camera in here. You weirdo.”

Bob E. Freeman

New Years Eve, Circa 2012

5 Sep

Crowdsurfing in deep East Austin

at a Japanther show.

There is no way I

would’ve believed the

flip of the script

seeing my Parts N Labour

hat fall off my head,

A beautiful green trucker

hat with the state emblem

and a signature by the Gza/Genius

from the Wu Tang Clan.

It was the shifting of the pendulum,

this dip in the roller coaster ride

would turn out to be the biggest I had seen in

a long time.

And this was just the first sign of things to come.

~Bob E. Freeman

The Metro, Circa 2013

22 Jul

Felt a lil bit like 1998

At a theatre not entirely like this one.

When I was in on the best kept secret

How do you describe the sound of something pure?

They played hard.

They played fast.

The Drummer played with the pace of a sled driver

pushing a team of huskies down a frozen snow trail.

They played Desire Lines four songs into the set.

The music tightened my eyelids pushed my head towards the floor.

I felt a splash on my shirt and face at the song’s apex.

The mega ending with the soaring guitars weaving into each other. 

Looked up and was annoyed;

not by the splash

but by the interruption:

Pulling me out of the music

Pulling me out of the moment

And pulling me out of myself.

And jealous of the bliss

on the drunk girl’s face,

Biting her lip, rocking out

with her long stringy hair twirling in her eyes,

as the beer kept spilling out her cup 

down off the balcony onto the floor below her.

~Bob E. Freeman

Best Episode Ever: “Juliet Takes a Luvvah” [Spoilers]

1 Feb

While there have been tons of classic detective shows in my lifetime, none have been as entertaining or witty as the USA’s tv show, Psych. Over the years, Psych has developed a rapid cult following of “PsychO’s”, drawing largely to its offbeat sense of humor and good storytelling. While admittedly, it’s not for everyone, for those who like pop culture trivia, random callbacks to niche films, and shows like Columbo, Murder She Wrote, or Moonlighting, then chances are they’ll really like Psych.

Essentially, the premise of the show is based largely around the son of a type A, Santa Barbera, retired police officer, who is in his late 20’s, and a slacker. Through sheer dumb luck, this slacker, Shawn, opens up a detective agency with his childhood best friend Gus (played by Dule Hill) and they become special liaisons to the SBPD. What makes this different from any and all cop/detective shows is that Shawn has an eidetic memory, but poses as a psychic, and consequently, has the reputation of a “psychic” detective. On its face, Shawn is a brilliant detective, however he can’t ever let on that he is not a psychic because reputations and cases would be obliterated.

Throughout the show’s history, there are a number of memorable episodes and guest cameos, but for my money, not only is the episode “Juliet takes a luvvah,” one of the best episodes in the show’s history, it might also be (pound for pound) one of the best written episodes of ANY show written for television. This episode (season 7, episode 2) is written by Steve Franks and Andy Berman (the bellhop from the Jamie Foxx Show). Franks (the creator of the show, also known for writing the Adam Sandler screenplay, Big Daddy) and Berman wrote 97 episodes together, all of them pretty strong, but “Juliet takes a luvvah,” happens to be next level storytelling. 

What sets this episode apart is there are four storylines tied to the main thread. As in all good detective stories, there is a crime that must be solved. The crime in this particular story is a series of murders. The police believe that the victims were all linked to a dating service which leads them to believe there is a serial killer loose in Santa Barbara (most crimes on the show take place in Santa Barbara. Who knew it was such a haven for the criminal minded?).  The serial killer storyline is the vehicle that drives the episode with all the quintessential red herrings and dubious suspects. 

Story Line #1  “Shawn moves back home”

At this point in the show, everyone is pretty attached to the characters, and there is a sense of attachment to each of their lives. Shawn’s father, Henry is recovering from being shot in the cliffhanger from season six.  Shawn moves back home to help Henry (who is long divorced) around the house. We get a cameo from Moonlighting alum Cybil Shephard, as Shawn’s mom. She briefly moves back into Shawn’s childhood home, and they are all together again as one big happy family. But not so much. Shawn’s parents have been divorced since he was 12 and he is not feeling this new arrangement for many reasons–especially as his parents get chummier by the day. There is a real time regression shown not just in Shawn’s living circumstances, but also in his behavior and soon, it’s like he is 12 years old all over again.

Story Line #2  Shawn and Gus

Throughout the show, Gus has a pattern of falling for every woman he meets, and almost always, the woman in question ends up being a suspect in the case they are trying to solve (or she is just flat out cuckoo for cocoa puffs). In this episode, Gus meets a woman on the same dating app where all these women are getting offed. Gus is preoccupied with this woman, who turns out is hiding something, but also, he isn’t readily available to commiserate with Shawn in his newfound living circumstances. This episode does a great job of sifting through Shawn and Gus’ relationship as well as giving us some insight into what makes the two of them tick. Shawn does his best to wedge his in between Gus and his new love interest. Part of this is Shawn looking out for Gus because of Gus’ poor romantic judgement, but also out of a smidge of jealousy. This of course, causes a bit of friction between he and Gus.

Story Line # 3 Juliet goes Undercover

By this point in the show, Shawn has become fully involved with one of the homicide detectives on the police force, Juliet (played by Maggie Lawson–a poor man’s Alicia Silverstone) and she has taken the lead role on the murder case. To solve the case, she must go deep cover as a single woman on the hunt for a man. This causes some friction between her and Shawn, as Shawn is slowly feeling isolated and can’t get the emotional support that he needs. His parents have scarred him for life, and both his best friend and his girlfriend are both occupied as well. Further complicating things is that Shawn can’t even go near the case because it’s an elaborate sting operation in which he is of little use. The friction increases as the story moves along because Juliet has to keep going on blind dates to catch the killer. Part of Shawn is dismayed that Juliet seems to be losing herself in the case, as she is clearly irritated that a “Mr. Perfect” from the dating app won’t respond to any of her direct messages. To top it off, she wants Shawn to move in with her, and can’t figure out his resistance to the idea (especially in light of his current housing situation).

Story Line #4 Henry and Madeliene

As noted above, Henry is back home recovering from his gunshot injuries, and the love of his life is back in the house, taking care of him. In this loop of the thread, we get a little glimpse into Spencer family dynamic. Henry and Madeliene seem to be getting along swimmingly, cuddling on the couch and watching movies Things even get hot and heavy throughout the course of the episode. For reasons unknown to the viewer, this bothers Shawn a great deal, and we never really get to the root of his discomfort by the end of the episode.

One of the major selling points of the show Psych is that the audience is as much involved in the story and cases as the characters. Nothing is ever spelled out until the very end, and all the clues are extremely subtle. This episode in many ways, succinctly gives allows fans the insight (psychoanalysis) to every major character’s motivation throughout the entire show. It’s really brilliant, and though I wouldn’t start anyone unfamiliar with the show on this episode, I do contend that it is a top ten episode and possibly the strongest in regard to writing and plot development. Being on a cable network like USA kept it from hitting mainstream appeal, but it also helped it grow and slowly build an audience without unrealistic expectations weighing it down. So, if you like detective shows, and you have a decent sense of humor, have a bowl of slice pineapples and check it out. It is a very solid series worth your time.

Bob E. Freeman

Does the World Really Need a House Party 3?

28 Jan

The world did not need another House Party movie. In fact, the world didn’t need a House Party 2, and outside of a few classic cameos by Bernie Mac and Freez-Luv, the world didn’t need a House Party 3. I watched the trailer to this new House Party reboot, and the timing of this film’s release seems poor. With all the existential threats we Black Americans face in our current day to day, it’s hard to accept the ridiculous premise that two house cleaners could find a way to throw a party in the social media era at Lebron James’ house and neither he, nor his people find out. 

Just for kicks, I threw on the original House Party on the screen to see if it still held up, or if nostalgia had me feeling stronger about the movie than it deserved. There were some gags that still had me cracking up, and some gags that I didn’t think were as funny now that I’m in my mid-forties. Overall, it was still enjoyable, however; even in its original form, it would be considered a superfluous film. The fact is this movie was just a snapshot of an era that was already on its way out the door. Here is a list of what worked and what didn’t work.

What Worked

The cast was superb.

There are some great casting decisions that at the time couldn’t have been pulled off by any other actors (I’m not talking about Kid or Play we’ll get to them later). Robin Harris as Kid’s father carries a lot of the film. His quips and sharp humor at the time were ferocious (Chicago comic!!!) and memorable, calling teenagers test tube babies, and roasting the hell out everyone he came across. Sadly, he would die shortly after the film was released– at the age of 36 (he looked much older, and in hindsight, it’s kind of distressing seeing him in this condition).

John Witherspoon has some classic cameos, which at the time were hilarious, but when looking back at all his roles as Pop in Friday, Pops from Wayans Bros, and Grandad from Boondocks (don’t forget his role in Boomerang). The Public Enema scene was hilarious to me for two reasons: 1) Martin’s character really was playing Public Enemy at a house party, and 2) Somehow Witherspoon’s character knew it was Public Enemy. 

Full Force’s scenes were all side splitting, unfortunately some of the language in their dialogues could not be replicated today (for better or worse). The dynamic of the three was pure slapstick, but every interaction they had with other people and within their group were hilarious. 

Clifton Powell (who is most famously known for his role as Pinky in Friday and Chauncy in Menace II Society) makes an appearance in what to me is the funniest written scene, as we take our first trip in the movie to the projects. Chauncy opens the door to Tisha Campbell’s character, Sydney, and he is talking to his homeboy on the phone, about going to a party (“12 o’clock! He says. Black people don’t go to no party at 8 o’clock,” he tells him). I’d never listened to the conversation before, but he is telling his homeboy to “leave his ugly girlfriend at home because there were plenty of girls going to be there already.” The whole project scene is for my money, the best written part of the film. You get a chance to see how Sharane and Sydney interact despite being from vastly different backgrounds (Sydney’s parents may be Boule, and Sharane’s parents don’t seem to be in the picture). Every joke in the scene lands, from the family gathered round the television watching Flash from the Five Heartbeats do a commercial to the final punchline of Peanut (young Trey in Boyz in the Hood) putting too much sugar in the Kool Aid. 

Other Cameos of note:

AJ Johnson in the “follow the drip” scene.

Daryl “Chill” Mitchell bumping the DJ table.

Stanley from Friday in the scene where Play kicks everyone out the house.

Shaun Baker as Clinton X -episode where Tommy brings the white girl on the ski trip (Snow White).

The use of music in the film was good too. I never noticed until this most recent viewing that the music supervisors were Marcus Miller and Lenny White, two jazz legends–even at that time. Luther Vandross’ Having a Party is the perfect intro to the film, setting the tone for what was to follow (even giving us a little foreshadowing in the lyrics).

What Did Not Work

The most notable folklore about this film is that neither Kid nor Play were the first casting choices for this film. The movie was originally written with Will Smith and Jazzy Jeff in mind. There was a dispute with New Line Cinema over the song, A Nightmare on My Street, and the way it played out, made this scenario a non-reality. While Kid N Play did okay jobs as their first major acting role, their scenes seem a little forced and at times, overacted. That being said, it’s impossible to imagine this movie with the Fresh Prince and Jazzy Jeff in those two roles.

Kid’s (Christopher Reid) scenes were especially hard to watch. He is such a cornball, and every scene with him seemed a little extra. His punchlines typically landed flat, and I could not be convinced that two best friends would be fighting for his affections.

Play behaved like someone who’d never had his ass beaten before. The dude was wildly disrespectful to his friend Bilal (strangely similar to the character he played in Boomerang). Play’s sense of entitlement and dismissive attitude towards everyone around him made it hard to sympathize with his mama’s toilet getting clogged. Of all the roles, his character seemed to lack any real backstory (other than what Robin Harris’ character gives us). His character does redeem himself in the end, helping his friend Kid in his time of need, so I guess there is that, but the film could’ve given us at least a phone call with his parents to show him in a light that wasn’t so flat. Although I must admit, I did like the “Project girl” conversation he had with Kid explaining the logistics of how they should divvy up the booty (Although, later when he lies about kissing Sharane in front of Sydney, how does it not get back to Sharane by the next morning at school?).

There were two scenes that I thought were unnecessary to the development of the film: Kid being chased by Full Force and him trying to freestyle a Boule party, deejayed by George Clinton, and the jailhouse scene. I understand why they may have thought it was a good idea. But the execution of both turned out to be lame gags and just made the run time of the film longer than it should have been. Both scenes should have ended on the cutting floor.

Other Random Thoughts

Kid N Play were way better dancers than they were rappers. Every time either one of them picked up a microphone I tuned out or checked my phone for text messages. It was 1990 so I get it, but whenever people say the Golden Age of Hip Hop started in 1988, Kid N Play is probably Exhibit C of wack emcee’s from that time period.

At the 40:45 period, Sharane says to Sydney, “You Go Girl.” with Bilal sitting in the front seat of Play’s hooptie. And thus, the premise for Martin is born. Speaking of Martin Lawrence, he nails every single scene he is in, from slow dancing at the party comparing chick to a buttermilk biscuit, while she boredly blows her bubble gum, to getting dissed by the ladies because of his hygiene, and my favorite scene of all, with him in his bedroom kissing his Jet Beauty of the Week cut outs that are pinned to his wall (my older cousin had a similar shrine around that same time).

The nod to Animal House where they drop off Groove at his mama’s house is a great gag.

This movie hit differently as a Black father. All the bad things happened to Kid happened because he disobeyed his father and left the house. He endured a couple of near beatdowns, almost got hit by multiple cars, got gaffled up by the police, and lastly, almost got his manhood snatched in the jailhouse. Had this not been a comedy, there are so many ways this story could’ve ended tragically.

Closing Thoughts

The endearing quality of that first House Party is that it’s a snapshot of that late 80’s era. It hints at what is to come for Black American culture, with Martin Lawrence ascending and John Witherspoon’s career arc peaking with the Friday franchise and every gig that came afterwards. Tisha Campbell as Gina, A.J. Johnson ten years later for her role in Baby Boy. Robin Harris sadly would not see the next decade, and Kid N Play was “played out by the time House Party 3 came about in 1994. 

The 90’s would become more rougher, more dangerous, Middle class black neighborhoods would dissolve into hoods and gentrified parts of town. The premise was simple and relatively innocent: Someone’s parents are out of town, and they have a party. The complications are the bullies, Kid not listening to his father, and eventually, Play’s toilet getting ruined. It would be rare to see such innocent fun in Black cinema going forward. Black movies for the next 20 years would get heavy on the drama and violence, and the few comedies to come out, would be slapstick and nonsensical.

Which brings me to this is “new” House Party. From what I saw in the trailer, this could’ve been named anything else. The plot’s premise is a non-starter for me. I’m okay with suspending my disbelief for the sake of story, but in the age of social media, it’s hard to believe that someone can have a party thrown at their house and have people they know attend it without them finding out is a bridge too farfetched (even for me). I personally think that House Party holds up to those people born in and of that era of 80’s nostalgia. I would love to know how a Gen Z person would receive the movie had it been released today.

Bob E. Freeman

Incel

18 Dec

There was a period of time

(between Post Office and Women)

where Bukowski reportedly was celibate

for ten years.

Ten years. No nookie. What the hell?

I woke up the other day

and realized I was almost halfway there.

Again. What the hell?

~Bob E. Freeman

Geeking Out on Vonnegut

11 Nov

Connecting Flight in Phoenix

27 Dec

I found the change of scenery to be surprisingly uplifting, the heaviness that had weighed me down for so long was subsiding. Catching my connecting flight in Phoenix, I wondered about the chances of running into Charles Barkley, or Steve Nash.

Looking out the window, running along the conveyor belt, I wasn’t sure what to expect–what to look forward to.

Maybe I’d be able to get over her during this trip. There was definitely the prospect of other women, both young and old, but I was also going to get some fresh air, and a few early morning hikes would do me good.

An old friend was meeting me at the airport with the possiblity of revisitng old desires, harking back to a time when I made it all happen, yet was lucky if I could buy groceries for the week.

Things had completely changed, and for the better. With all the questions going into this trip, there was no question about the theme. Whether it’d be Eugene, Oregon, Toronto, or New York City, it was certainly time to move on. 

~Edward Austin Robertson