H.N.I.C.

You would think that I’d feel a little more at ease now that there’s one of us in the White House.

In fact it’s the opposite, I get these paranoid thoughts that I’m gonna get attacked out of retaliation for Barack winning the election.

It’d be like when I used to get persecuted because I was from Texas and Bush used to be the governor, except I could at least pass as a dude from another state, the best I can say to my attackers is “Hey I didn’t vote this year!!! I forgot to get an absentee ballot!!!!”

This is a far cry from the initial elation of having a brutha in the office. Right after he won, I envisioned myself walking down the street and seeing every black person smiling and giving each other high fives and thumbs up for the next eight years. It’d be black history month every day.

White people could finally say “Hey cut me a break, I voted for Barack.” if they were ever accused of racism

(of course how could you not jump on the bandwagon, he was the sexy, pick. It was trendy. Some didn’t want to be accused of racist, some probably pretended to vote his way but went with McCain at the buzzer. But come on it couldn’t have been that hard dude’s rock star–he just ran the best campaign in presidential history–no one would be surprisd at all if he was on the next Kanye album).

Everybody’s a winner right?

can you imagine back in the early 1800’s. A slave master calls one of his workers in to talk with him.

“Now Jasper what’s this I hear about having these visions of a Negro presidnt?”

“Yessss suh, I had a dream last night that a black man lived in the white house and he wasn’t cleaning the beds or fixin’ supper neitha. He was giving speeches and barkin’ out orders.”

(Slave Master laughs) “I didn’t even know you knew there was a president. Black President man you darkies can’t even vote. Next thang you gon’ be tellin me is that you boys is gon haff yo own schools, and businesses, and clothing lines.

Now you may have predicted that my third baby would have a cleft palatte, and you may have predicted that crop freeze last fall, but I’m a haff to put my foot down on this one. You gotta better chance of us puttin a man on tha goddamn moon than to have one of you darkies as President of the United States.”

And the fucked up thing is that they’d both be right.

Tags: Barack, Bush, McCain, Texas