Nuclear Polio Vaccination

East coast women are great to talk to.
West coast girls are great to look at.
Southern gals know how to party.
Midwestern women know how to take care of a man.

None of them can be taken too seriously
They will ALL drive you crazy
if you let them.
~Edward Austin Robertson~
.

Bukowski knew what was up.

And of course we hit
it off.
She was a red headed
secretary at the office
I worked.
We started dating
even though we couldn’t see ourselves
getting married to each other.
Nine months later
we broke up.
All I got out
of it was
a bunch of lousy poems
and a little bit of sexual experience.

So I met this gal
at a bar near campus.
She bought me drinks
all night and followed
me home.
We fucked for a
while
and though she left her earrings
I never saw her again.
All I got out of
the deal were a
couple of lousy
poems
and some naked
photographs.

So I met this gal
through a friend
of a friend.
Tall
gorgeous and
superficial.
I didn’t fuck her
because I thought
there’d be other
chances.
There weren’t
and all I got
out of it
were a couple of lousy
poems
and memories
for the spank
bank.

So I met
this gal
while
on tour doing
comedy.
She was married
but very very
kinky.
We had a two week
fling
that ended badly.
All I got
out of it
were a few lousy
poems
and a yeast
infection.

So I met this gal
while visiting
Canada
and we decided
to stay in touch
and fall in love.
She broke things
off two weeks
before my next visit
and all I got out of the deal
was an open ticket
going anywhere
in the world
but Toronto
and a few more lousy poems.

Finally I decided
I didn’t want to meet
any more gals.
I’d had enough lousy
experiences
and
poems
to fill 3 books.
So it seemed logical
to just leave
the girls alone
and work
on the lousy poems.

~Edward Austin Robertson~

Food Stamps

There was a woman who
worked at the DHS office.

She struck me as a prettier
version
of a gal I’d
had a fling with
in Toronto.

Just talking to her
put me
in an uncomfortably
shy disposition.

She shared the receptionist
duties
with five other
employees

and I was afraid
that my
obvious attraction
would be apparent
to everyone else.

She was the kind
of woman
that you’d have to
stop on the streets
and tell her
how pretty she
was even
though she’s
probably heard
it a million
times since
the day she
was born.

And really
that was all I
wanted,
was to just tell
her that and get
it out of my
system.

I didn’t
want anything to
come of it.

In fact there
was a chance
I’d be moving
north to
Portland in
less than a month.

Besides there was
a reason I was in that
office,
to get food stamps.

What could
I really say to her
besides that?

“Baby girl
let’s say you and me
take my EBT card
and go back to
my place

I’ll make us some
lobster and salad
and we can fall asleep
on the couch
watching French films
on Netflix.”

Nothing says
sexy like
abusing
the very system
that employs her.

Now THAT’s
being a rebel.

As it was,
something would have
to give.

I was running out
of reasons
to come bother
her
with questions.

Soon I’d have a
job–
I needed one badly–

and unfortunately

that took
precedence
over
everything else.

~Edward Austin Robertson~

If there weren’t any
reservations
about who could
obtain reservations
then vacancy
wouldn’t be the issue.

Anyone could
physically be there
but sometimes
one can feel
lonelier
with others
than they
would by themselves.

Finding
someone isn’t
the issue,
its finding
someone
who deserves
the access,
smells
taste
and touch
of such a forgotten
and rare delicacy.

Easy access
isn’t altogether
easy.

Edward Austin Robertson