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You never give me your pillow

20 Mar
 
Free Agency
The gamble you take with signing a high priced veteran is that their best years may be well behind them……

It’s a fine art of picking a player when they are at the crest of their years……

Its tough, it’s no fun when you have to say “your best years were from 18-25, and things don’t look like they’ll be getting any better”…..

Sometimes you’ll pick up a veteran desperately hungry for that ring and they’ll play really hard for that year…but then when they get it everything changes……………. come time for a contract negotiation and then they’ll be wanting big money…….

so then you have a choice…re-sign the vet for a max contract and make them the face of your franchise or say ” we appreciate everything you’ve done for the franchise, but it looks like we’ll be going in a different direction” then you unload the veteran and make your roster younger……………perhaps bringing in a younger player who has been on the bench a couple of years and is finally ready to step their game up for some crunch time minutes…….

if you choose to re-sign the vet, make it a year or two with bonus incentives…….because once an older vet gets a ring and a fat contract………they become more worried about comfort… and they aren’t as hungry to impress the franchise…..then they come to camp overweight and get lazy…..and don’t want to earn their keep…………………………………
then what do you do???? can’t trade them. Who wants an aging veteran with no legs left, injury-proned, and who’s been known to be a serious head case when the chips are down and you need them the most????????………….can’t release them…….cheaper to keep em……..all the money invested will screw you for years to come in cap penalties…………..then you just have to wait it out…hope for the best……….retirement or career ending injury still counts against your cap space…….and the franchise is fucked for years to come………….
and that’s why I’ll never get married.

G. I. Joe PSA’s

20 Mar
I wouldn't risk it if I were you Bobby!!!!!!

I wouldn't risk it if I were you Bobby!!!!!!

” Yeah girl, lemme get dis rubber on and then I’m gonna wear dis pussy out.”

“You don’t need a rubber to get dis pussy daddy!”

.. (sound of glass breaking)

“Hold on there Timmy. You might wanna rethink that.”

“Quick Kick!!!!!”

“Don’t take that trifling bitch’s word for it. Just cuz she looks healthy doesn’t mean she isn’t sick. There’s a live environment inside that hoo-hah of hers. No telling what kind of critters are breeding in there. And if you plan on eating the kitty you better use this.”

“Whooooooaaaaa dental dam.”

” That’s right Timmy, even if you’re just eating at the Y, you need to use some sort of protection, oral sex can still lead to STD’s like hepatitis, herpes, even the HIV. Why do you think Cobra Commander wears a mask?”

“I didn’t know that Cobra Commander had the herpes.”

“Well now you know, and knowing’s half the battle.”

G.I. JOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Two weeks notice

20 Mar
Why the fuck can a place of employment let you go at the drop of a hat but you have put your two weeks notice in if you wanna quit?

I know what I’d do if a job sat me down and gave me two weeks to find a new gig…..

I’d be stealing toilet paper out the bathroom, staples, pens, pencils, paper clips..white out…

imagine if you gave your girl two week’s notice.” Yeah baby I’m just lettin you now you got two weeks to get over me and find someone new. I’ve found a new place to lay my head at night. But it’s been a good run.”

She wouldn’t be too happy.

I think a dude would look at it differently, his response might be ” So I got two weeks to still knock it out?” Yep and you can find a replacement.

Of course women already give men their notices, it’s just too subtle for men to pick up on it.

When they stop picking up when you ring, and they take longer and longer to return your calls 
that’s a sign.
When they start wanting to spend more and more time with their “girls” and you become the third or fourth pass option on the play calls, then that’s a sigh.
When they have been sitting around and watching American Idol and all of a sudden they start working out feverishly………

she’s handed in her two weeks, better hope one of those weeks of potential break up sex isn’t 
interrupted by a visit from Aunt Flo, well………unless she likes anal then I guess you’re still in business.

March Madness begins…

20 Mar

Vernal Equinox today.

I’ve recently gotten a new job at Tulsa Youth Services or Youth Services of Tulsa. I’ve only been there a couple of days, but it’s been guiltily fun.

Last night we hung out, took the kids to go bowling and rolled a couple of games amidst a little trouble….I’d really like to work on my game…..I could one day roll a perfect game I feel it…..the closest I’d come was when I was skied up with some buddies in my youth and had consecutive strikes through six frames and the lanes turned off cuz they were closing…..

 

ahh but that was years ago no need to go into that…what i was gonna say was that sometimes I feel ike Richard Pryor from “Bustin’ Loose” hangin with soem really quick, smart aleck kids who live under difficult situations, and here I am comedian and author, along for the ride in the bus, trading quips and being silly……

But I already love some of them and I feel my heart opening, and sometimes I wanna cry by how happy i am working at this wonderful, and sometimes heart wrenching place…. my first day I played video games with some boys for three hours before i really did anything.

Yesterday I played two on two with some kids (one even blocked my shot repeatedly–he looked like a 17 year old John Wallace)

 

This is what they pay me to do, play with the kids, and sometimes just listen and/or give advice Bobby Mickey Residential counselor…

 

Just got my first book of poems published.  Supplication and Masturbation. Here’s the link to it: http://www. lulu. com/​content/​6191553.
You can imagine from the title that it was difficult to find a publisher, but finally I went through a friend’s company, Inverspace Press, and everything has been okay since……

I filled out my tourney brackets and did an experiment where I just blindly picked and didn’t think much about it……I’ve got UConn, Syracuse, Pitt and Louisville in my final four, which is weird because I just realized that all four teams are from the big east….anyway UConn beats Syracuse in a rematch of that six overtime ordeal……in the Big East Tourney…

I think I’m gonna check out some Gary Snyder…and need to work on my summer trips but I thought this would be a great first blog….I’m going to post a lot of old stuff from myspace and even emails from college that seem asnine but still have their moments…I need to get soem work done though…checking out consolidation deals with book stores, and writing new poems for my gig in Wichita, Kansas on May 15………and I need to get ready to do more open mics for stand up…….how is a guy to find time to get laid???????

I suppose the answer is less sleep…hmmmmmmmmmm

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