Dis Cat is blowing up. He’s a legitimate triple threat: Writer for 30 Rock, actor, and standup.
and he’s only 26. I think he’s got the potential to be huge.
*********Editor’s Note****** This was before I realized that Community sucked and before I’d heard any of his rap lyrics! But I’ll eat the Buster of the Week award for this post!!!! Shout Out to Carles from Hipster Runoff
I was only hipped to him earlier today, must check out if his other stuff is as good.
Was es ist
Es ist Unsinn
sagt die Vernunft
Es ist was es ist
sagt die Liebe
Es ist Unglück
sagt die Berechnung
Es ist nichts als Schmerz
sagt die Angst
Es ist aussichtslos
sagt die Einsicht
Es ist was es ist
sagt die Liebe
Es ist lächerlich
sagt der Stolz
Es ist leichtsinnig
sagt die Vorsicht
Es ist unmöglich
sagt die Erfahrung
Es ist was es ist
sagt die Liebe
–Erich Fried
(English translation)
What it is
It is nonsense
says Reason
It is what it is
says love
It is unfortunate
says the calculation
It is nothing but pain
does the anxiety
It is hopeless
says the insight
It is what it is
says love
It is ridiculous
says the proud
It is irresponsible
says the caution
It is impossible
says the experience
It is what it is
says love
– Erich Fried
Yep old buddy, if your liver can handle it, it just may be time to relocate.
“There was a woman but I left her far behind.
I could have loved her if I only had more time.”
This is from the Flying Burrito Brothers’ Colorado.
It hits me hard every time I hear this tune. Its a song about loving where you came from and having to leave, but then looking forward to going back, after you realize you only left to find out just how great home was in the first place.
And the open sound of the pedal steel cutting through the loneliness.
This trip was exactly what I needed. Lots of hiking, biking, fresh air, and a lot of loving.
It was so good to see all my old friends from the west coast, and have a little fun. I realized about halfway through my first week on the road, in San Francisco that I was taking things too seriously when I lived there.
California is much too absurd to be taken seriously, and once you stop taking Californians so seriously, then they become alright. I guess the thing that made this hit home was seeing this beautiful European woman breastfeeding what looked to be a two year old, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING STREET!!!!!
It brought up a couple of thoughts, like:
1)Would it be rude to stare? Becuase her breasts were quite nice from what I could see
2) Wasn’t this kid a bit old for breastfeeding?
3) Was this kid really 8 months old, but had grown enormously from the potency of her breast milk?
If this wasn’t enough, seeing a naked man dressing with his window while smoking a cigarrette outside this club in the mission, drove it home even further. “Welcome to California, where there is no such thing as absurd.”
Seriously. We could see the guy’s cock and everything. It was horrifying, especially when he pulled his boxer briefs up and his dick didn’t make it in and kinda bounced up like a diving board (not that I was staring or anything).
Which brings me to another reason why I had to leave the Bay area. Too many homosexuals.
I’m not homophobic by any means, however, as a heterosexual man in a city where half the population is gay, this doesn’t bode well for finding a lady friend.
Think of it like this:
If half the population of men and women is gay, that is 50/100.
So if you’re a heterosexual male this is not in your favor. You’ve already cut out half of the population by just being straight.
So let’s screw it down again by taking out half the population of that percentage of women who are gay which is half of the population of women.
So now you’re down to a meager 25% of a population that could involve some sexy time explosion. But now let’s factor in the percentage of women who have boyfriends, or who do like men but are currently involved with women……..we’ll just assume that half of this population are involved.
Well that leaves a guy with a mere 12.5 percent chance to hook up. I’m no statistician but from the looks of this chart, I’d say these are slim pickings.
Now to be fair, this is only San Francisco, the odds are totally different across the bridge, going into Oakland, or Berkeley….but for the sake of maybe pursuing a career in SF, this doesn’t work.
All that being said, I still managed to have a really good time while I lived in the bay, and my stint there was well worth it. I played lots of pick up basketball, and had some good times on stage and managed to meet a lot of good people, and despite the odds, I still got laid every now and again.
Oregon was a much mellower trip and more my speed. I did a couple of shows with old ED Forman in Portland and Eugene, and finally got to visit an organic farm on Sauvie Island, which totally changed how I looked at the PDX.
I have to say, if you really want to figure out a place, try biking around the city. It was hectic and crazy but its a very biker city friendly, and crossing the bridges can be dangerously spectacular. You could end up falling in the Williamette if you’re not careful.
I could see myself living there for sure, they got the up and coming Blazers, Portland is one of the most eco-friendliest cities I’ve been to outside of Toronto, and there is a pretty good music scene there.
I even managed to get Supplication and Masturbation on the shelves at Reading Frenzy over on SW Oak street. If they can somehow get no-flush urinals installed city wide in all the restrooms then I’ll certainly be on board.
back in Tulsa now among the Sooners fans, hoping for a good game on Saturday. Time to really think about the next step and creating an exit strategy. But one thing is clear, I saw my past and future out on the west coast, and its time to get back out there for a spell.
More on that later
To be continued……………
BMICK
I just got back this week from the coast. Lots to catch up on so before I go into any of the events surrounding my trip, thought I’d throw out some links that I can’t get enough of
starting with the Derrick Comedy team out of New York. These cats are out there, and they got a new movie coming out that I can’t wait to see called Mystery Team
Here are a couple of their sketches that I found on youtube courtesy of my boy J-Mart:
(memory loss) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJyelcnINH0
and
(BroRape)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zvTRQr7ns8
This other link isn’t from Derrick Comedy but just as ridiculous if not more called unforgivable. There’s a whole series of these but I’ll link you one and the rest you can look up yourselves. It has over 9 million hits:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dJu1Jj7VTw
Enjoy,
Mick
I don’t want to be a replacement,
merely a stand in.
Someone to physically comfort you
until the real thing shows up.
Getting through the day is easy
it’s not hard to smile
when the sun is out
and the laughter is high
and there are distractions
aplenty.
Its the nights that
are difficult to face, or
at 1:30 in the morning
and there’s nothing
left to do
but sweep
the dark corners
of your mind
for any inkling
of hope to
remedy
your heartbreak,
and rehash every
little detail
wondering
what could have been
done differently.
I could be
that late night distraction
physically healing
mentally soothing
nothing kinky
or dirty
merely
a warm presence
to lay close to
and assuage
those
doubts of
self worth.
Simply put,
a band-aid
and a lollipop.
Edward Austin Robertson
I gotta say I’m pretty excited about m trip out west and then north to Portland.
Things are starting to sort themselves out though. I’ll have some sort of plan by the time I get back from PDX.
I think copies of my next book, “Instant Exchange of Recognition”, will be printed and shipped to me by the middle of next week. Just in time to go visit John Ferlinghetti and hopefully get a consignement deal at his store City Lights Books.
Its been a crazy month and a half and honestly i feel live that ever since I’ve gotten back from Canada, things have been heightened quite a bit. The west coast will be a good mellow pill to chill me out. Ocean, Mountains, fresh air, good friends. It’ll be nice. I’ll even get to visit my old friend Ed Forman.
In some ways this is a small parallel with my first visit to the Northwest, getting over a little heartbreak and needing a fresh scene for a spell. That was four years ago, and to commemorate that visit I’m going to include entries from the old Raving and Drooling column from that time period. I’ll be blogging off and on while I’m out that way, not sure how much of it will be interesting to anyone else, but I’ll mention the noteworthy things until then: Here is some old bullshit!!!!!:
March 28, 2005
So when I got on the plane leaving for Portland two Saturdays ago, my main question was how people in the Northwest would treat a black man from Texas, and how I would enjoy my time there. Here is my breakdown of what I saw there:
Seattle: This is probably the best example of what a city built around a penile colony would be like. There aren’t any women in Seattle. The guy to girl ratio is like 5 to 1. For every one girl i saw at the bar, there wer in my friend Craig’s words, “five guys hoola hooped around that one girl.”
My friend Adam and I played a game called count the black people in the Northwest I got up to 30 while I was in Washington. I stopped counting when I got to Portland because there were lots of blacks. Anyway I noticed that I could easily count more blacks that I had seen than cute girls during my whole stay in Washington…. it was funny
Also it sucks to drive up there. The city is fucking crazy confusing, and you can’y find anywhere to park, everything is so expensive and no matter where we went Metallica or some kind of grunge music was playing. It was like I went back in time to 1993.
Final grade: C What keeps this grade from being an F is that it is laid back, they are pretty consientious about the environment and it is smack dab in the middle of Portland and
Vancouver: A super nice town which I fell in love with instantly. The perfect mix of city and country landscape. The minute you drive into Canada there is an instant calm as you drive 99km/hr down the King George highway.
The city is well put together with an enormous downtown area. it does’t pay to drive around because there are so many one way streets and the public transportation is spectacular. I saw buses running at 1:30 in the morning. something you won’t see in Austin.
I hung out at the University of British Colombia with some kids that I met walking down the street. Everyone was very friendly and wanted to help you, and i had some great conversations with the locals. Sushi up there is super cheap and there are lots of beautiful women from all over up there. The coolest thing though was not feeling like an outsider, a weirdo, people don’t give a fuck up there.I was on the beach (five minutes from the UBC campus) high and the most relaxed I’d ever been in my life, looking at Mercury wobble around in the sky, and it occurred to me that here I was an American in another country and I had felt more welcome, at home, and at peace there than I did back in Texas. I wasn’t prepared to fall in love. In fact i’m going back proabably in June just to get my fill.
Another thing to add, 80% of the men in Vancouver are gay, so do you know my odds of scoring up there are??? Pretty high…..
Portland treated me a little better. It reminded me of a crazier, more liberal, and prettier Austin. There is so much to do up there, record stores, and book stores (Powells is this four story used book store right smack in the middle of town), and lots of cute girls. I wasn’t in Portland half an hour before I stopped playing ” how many black people” and “how many cute girls”. I met a lot of inaresting people there but I honestly didn’t spend much time in the city, electing instead to go hiking Multnomah Falls in Troutdale, driving to Cannon Beach on the coast, and spending St. Patrick’s Day in
Eugene: A parallel universe to here, except not nearly as diverse. U of Oregon is the prettiest campus I have seen yet..well… except UBC which had a direct view of the ocean from campus, so I guess its the second prettiest…. but the people there were cool. Somehow I ended up watching Curb Your enthusiasm, and college basketball at this guy’s house (who let me sleep on his couch) while getting high and listening to Jazz.
He played in a band called The Quick and Easy Boys which he played a demo for me, it was very P-funkish but I loved it….. perhaps it was that good ol Eugene bud I was smoking. NAyway he and I went to this club called the Downtown Lounge and he introduced me to hella girls and some other cool people. I even met some people who knew some people who lived in Denton. It was a good time. We watched this funk band that consisted of a sax, keyboardist who was funky as hell, a bass, guitar, drummer, and a Did-yee–ara-doo player, the higlight was this funky cover of “Last of the Mohicans”. It was awesome. I never felt out of place and everyone was nice. One other cool thing about it was that Thursday night is 80’s night up there and apparently that is where one wants to go if they wanna see some skin.
What probably impressed me the most about Eugene besides the lushness of the scenery, the good herb, the hot chicks, and the nice people was the fact that it was finals week, the day before spring break and it really wasn’t that bumping, yet I had a fantastic fucking time…. imagine if Denton was prettier and not in Conservative ass Texas and you have the University of Oregon. My only problem was there weren’t enough international students but whatever.
Oregon is probably the prettiest state I have ever been to, mountains,Douglas Firs, and Ocean, and cute gals.. It was really hard to come back to Texas. If Texas were my girlfriend then we would be at the “I love you but I need to see other people” of the relationship. I can probably say the same thing about AMerica and Canada, now that my international cherry has been popped, I can’t wait to see other places besides the U.S. The only problem is that I lost my birth certificate on the way back from Portland so………. I obviously have some things to work on before I plan that trip to Vancouver.
ALl in all, a great and eye opening experience. I had such a fabulous time and I didn’t even get laid. That shows you how highly I think of Oregon/Vancouver (fuck Washington)… but yeah super chill in the northwest wouldn’t be surprised if I setteld there within the next five years.
(pretty prophetic huh?)
BMick
Genius....................
http://www.longnow.org/views/essays/articles/BrianEnoLongNow.php
No teabagging, please. I beg you.
In the days of the primate, the female chose her mate according to which male was distinctly head and shoulders above its competition.
The female was looking for a mate who could provide good genes for strong healthy offspring, in addition to being able to protect the female and their offspring from oncoming predators, and other forms of danger.
The female wanted to be certain it will live a relatively safe and healthy life with her mate, and required of the male the ability to provide food for her and their offspring.
In our modern days, evolution has proved to change the elements, but not the prevailing theme. Cars, clothing, and houses, give men the opportunity to “peacock”, or display their status in the social order, according to how much money they make.
In the United States, wealth appears to be the number one display of one’s tools for survival. Everything is for sale, and all the conveniences of life are available to you if you make enough money. The quality of life is distinctly better for people with money than those without (obviously).
All things being equal, a pragmatic woman will choose a mate who is most capable of establishing a comfortable life, one that is safe from the harsh realities of modern day poverty.
Fancy cars, nice clothes, jewelery, and expensive tasting food and drink becomes bait for a man “hunting” for himself a woman.
Their offspring go off to the best schools money can afford, thus furthering their chances of making money and being the most fit–strengthening their position in society.
I think this is why we fight. We have a high standard of living that must be maintained. We fight for land and resources within our own species’ “struggle for existence”. Our crisis has come with the planet’s overpopulation.
Those who are unfortunate enough to live somewhere rich in resources but possess an inferior military, get the brunt end of man’s quest for economic power.
So continues the sexual dominance. Women continue to flock subconsicously (and consciously) towards those with power. The men with the big missles (err penises) keep their status intact, thus insuring that they’ll get pussy for the rest of their wealthy lives.
Bmick ’09
This could be us very very soon
As more individuals are produced than can possibly survive, there must be in every case, a struggle for existence, either one individual with another of the same species, or with individuals of distinct species, or with the physical conditions of life.
All we can keep in mind is that each being (organic) is striving to in increase at a geometrical ratio;that during each generation or at intervals, has to struggle for life; and to suffer great destruction.
When we reflect on this struggle, we may console ourselves with the full belief, that the war of nature is not incessant, that no fear is felt, that death is generally prompt and that the vigorous, the healthy and the happy survive and multiply.
~Charles Darwin~
From “Origin of the Species.”
Nuclear Polio Vaccination 